Politics

What kind of sleaze is your Tory MP neck-deep in?

THE Conservative party is once again riotously corrupt, but which sleaze is your MP indulging in for their own enrichment?

Owen Paterson keeping his other jobs

OWEN Paterson has resigned his position as an MP while keeping the job he got in trouble for that earned him half-a-million pounds.

The Tory voters' guide to why it's not sleaze when they do it

DO you vote Tory? Worried the party is mired in sleaze and corruption? Here, Tory MP Bill McKay explains why it isn’t.

I am mankind's last, best hope, by Boris Johnson

HUMANITY stands trembling on the precipice of extinction. Only one courageous hero stands ready to save us. Only I, Boris Johnson.

Man has heard 'levelling up' so many times he can't tell if it's bullshit anymore

A MAN has been bombarded with the phrase ‘levelling up’ so much he has no idea what the f**k it means anymore.

If it's bad it's your problem, explains government

THE government has explained that anything good which happens in Britain is all Boris Johnson but anything bad is your fault and your problem. 

Mark Francois's guide to respecting people

ANGRY balloon-faced Tory MP Mark Francois has called for more respect in public life, despite not having a spotless record himself. Here’s what he’s demanding.

What’s wrong with Boris? A baffled Tory tries to work out why his hero has gone green

CARBON net zero? What happened to the good old days of zero belief in global warming? Who’s got to Boris?

'Thou shalt not be a snowflake' – The Ten Gammondments, as revealed unto a bloke called Roy

MY BROTHERS and their birds. God, by way of the Prophet Farage, has revealed unto me, Roy Hobbs, the rules by which we must live our lives.

'Asians all look the same,' says Tory MP indistinguishable from 300 colleagues

ONE of the hundreds of white suit-wearing male Conservative MPs in his 50s has admitted that to him all Asians look the same.