Politics

EVERY Conservative electoral promise is to fix something which was fine before they f**ked it up, it has emerged.

SUNAK hates Britain and backed the Nazis during World War Two, most Britons now believe. This is what he must do to show he’s a hardcore flag-shagger.

THE prime minister chose not to disrespect ITV, our greatest terrestrial channel, by missing his interview with them. Are opponents wrong to make this a political issue?

THE prime minister has apologised for leaving the D-Day service early but he was unaware that you were all a lame bunch of history swots.

AFTER trying to make the electorate notice him with a series of entertaining japes, Sir Ed Davey has finally got the attention he craves by being fined for speeding.

RISHI Sunak and Keir Starmer faced each other in a head-to-head debate last night. How much did you see before disgust overwhelmed you?

A DISMAL pair of contestants on last night's ITV debate failed to win a single penny for their respective charities, it has been confirmed.