Bad news! We're keeping the £140 million, says Rwanda

RWANDA has sympathised with the UK about its unlawful deportation plan and confirmed it will be keeping the money.

Dear Suella, you were shite, love Rishi

FOLLOWING Suella Braverman’s blistering resignation letter to Rishi Sunak, the prime minister has written back. His letter is below.

'Nobody else knew where abroad was': six reasons why it had to be Cameron

DAVID Cameron has been appointed foreign secretary in an act of sheer desperation. Here’s why Sunak had no other choice.

Check out my OnlyFans page. By Thérèse Coffey

NO longer a cabinet minister and with a majority of a mere 20,000, I have been forced to seek alternative sources of income. Pay me for these.

Sunak 'a typical bloody ungrateful immigrant', says Braverman

RISHI Sunak’s weak leadership is absolutely bloody typical of migrants who come over here and think they can run the bloody place, Suella Braverman has said.

Cameron to advise Sunak on f**king everything up

FORMER prime minister David Cameron is back in Downing Street to provide wise counsel on how to f**k a country beyond repair.

Being sacked is a lifestyle choice, Braverman told

THE former home secretary has been told that being fired is a lifestyle choice that she has knowingly made.

Fine, I'll bring back Patel if that's what you all want, says Sunak

THE prime minister has decided to bring back former Home Secretary Priti Patel because that is clearly what you are all clamouring for.

Braverman's right, we f**king love lefties, Met Police admits

THE Met Police has admitted it has an institutional bias towards left-wing marches because it just loves those crazy guys.

Unelected man in power gives speech on behalf of unelected man in power

A MAN who got his job by birthright is giving a speech on behalf of a man who won a contest by default.`