SNP to hold referendum on independence from Sturgeon

THE Scottish National Party is to hold an independence referendum over its association with Nicola Sturgeon.

Anyone elected between 2016-2019 guilty as f**k

ALL leaders elected in Britain, Scotland and the US between 2016-2019 are in deep legal shit, it has transpired.

Boris now only 18 inches tall

CONCERNED friends of Boris Johnson have confirmed that while he remains defiant about parliament’s witch hunt, he is now only one-and-a-half feet tall.

Everyone who visited Chequers during lockdown to be honoured for bravery

BORIS Johnson has requested that the entire Chequers lockdown guest list be awarded the Victoria Cross for their bravery under fire.

What the f**k has Rishi got to hide? Six wild and libellous speculations

WAIT, so Boris wants the inquiry to see everything but Rishi’s called the lawyers in? Exactly what has the little f**ker got to hide?

Brexiter wondering if perhaps he was the dickhead

A BREXITER who voted for sovereignty and got spiralling inflation, a collapsing NHS and record immigration is wondering if he was the dickhead.

The scandal-and-reproduction cycle of Boris and Carrie Johnson

THE Johnsons, those fascinating creatures native to these isles, have once again engendered a simultaneous pregnancy and political scandal in order to reproduce. Here’s how it works.

The CV of Dominic Raab, Britain's least employable man

DOMINIC Raab is walking away from politics to take up one of the countless offers from employers who want an inept bully on staff. Here’s his CV.

Weirdos who fancy politicians asked if they have heard of other people

ANYONE claiming to harbour crushes on Penny Mordaunt, Angela Rayner or Dishy Rishi Sunak has been asked if they have heard of models, porn stars or actors.

Basic humanity 101 and other awareness courses Suella Braverman has skipped

A SPEED awareness course is not the only class where the home secretary decided it was easier to take the points. There are other glaring holes in her education...