Death is sad blah blah blah but move on for f**k's sake: A letter from your local Tory MP

I KNOW you are a sentimental fool who feels sad your nan died of Covid and angry that Boris was at a party while it happened, but it was two years ago, so man up and get over it.

The confused person's guide to who - or what - Michael Fabricant is

MICHAEL Fabricant is in hot water after suggesting nurses and teachers would have drinks at work during the pandemic. If you’re only dimly aware of this strange Tory MP, here are all your questions answered.

Are you dense enough to believe Johnson will definitely resign this time?

BORIS Johnson has been giving a fixed penalty notice which should lead to his resignation, but are you dense enough to think it will actually happen? Take our quiz.

This isn't a fine, it's just a work-related letter, claims Johnson

BORIS Johnson is claiming a letter that is clearly a fine to any sane person is actually something entirely different and work-related.

We must heal the nation over Brexit now I look like a total idiot

BREXIT divided the nation, but now it is time to put aside our differences and work together. And stop saying things like ‘You’re a dick, Roy’. Because there’s not much I can say to that.

France's turn to go through nutjob leader phase

FRANCE is on course to follow the example set by Britain and America by electing a nutjob into power, it has emerged.

'This pissant country is not worthy of my wife's millions,' Rishi Sunak explains

RISHI Sunak has explained that his wife retains non-domiciled status because he would never let her live in a blighted hellhole like Britain.

10 Downing Street as an Airbnb: Five public assets after the Tories have flogged them to their mates

SELLING off Channel 4 is surely just the start. What other public assets do the Tories have their beady, greedy little eyes on, and how will they ruin them for an ultimately inconsequential profit?

Man who didn't want Labour taking UK back to the 70s fine with Tories doing it

A MAN who claimed voting for Labour would drag the country back to the 1970s is happy with rising inflation and an unheated home when the Tories do it.

The Tory MP's incredibly hypocritical guide to drugs

TEMPTED to dabble with drugs? Here Conservative MP Martin Bishop explains why it’s fine when he and his chums do it, but obviously not for you plebs.