Politics

Sunak aide's second bet on election was that Tories would lose

THE MP and aide to Rishi Sunak who placed a bet on a July election has placed a second bet on the result, but admitted he does not stand to win a great deal.

What your neighbours' election sign tells you about the kind of delusional bastard they are

ONE of the few good things about the election is finding out what type of bellend your neighbours are from the poster in their window or sign in their garden. Here’s how to judge them.

We ask you: which is more implausible, the Tory manifesto or the Green Party manifesto?

BOTH the Conservative and Green Party manifestos are packed with impossible promises from unelectable parties. But which is the more preposterous?

What we weren't allowed as children: the privileged whines from leaders of all parties

RISHI Sunak wasn’t allowed Sky TV, so the leaders of all other parties have rushed to share their heartbreaking childhood deprivations to catch up. This is what they suffered.

Wanking through the hustings: your extremely limited choice of sexual fantasies this election

POLITICOPHILES looking to get an erotic charge from this election aren’t finding it easy. This is how they’re managing to edge through the debates.

All Tory promises are to fix something they f**ked

EVERY Conservative electoral promise is to fix something which was fine before they f**ked it up, it has emerged.

Fellate Paddington: How Sunak can claw back his patriotic credentials

SUNAK hates Britain and backed the Nazis during World War Two, most Britons now believe. This is what he must do to show he’s a hardcore flag-shagger.

We ask you: is it wrong to politicise Rishi Sunak f**king off D-Day veterans to be on telly?

THE prime minister chose not to disrespect ITV, our greatest terrestrial channel, by missing his interview with them. Are opponents wrong to make this a political issue?