Politics

Far-right populists look on in horror as Le Pen held to account

LAW-ignoring right-wing populists across the West are horrified to see France’s functioning legal system convict one of their own.

Entire global economic system depended on America not electing mad king

THE whole of the planet’s health, wealth and happiness was solely dependent on a single country not being run by a berserk emperor, it has emerged.

Win Sabrina Carpenter tickets in today's Spring Statement!

WOULD you love to see Sabrina Carpenter live? Simply answer these questions about the Spring Statement and pop’s sultry princess and win free tickets – just like Rachel Reeves!

Girlfriend accidentally added to Bazzy Lads On Tour group chat

A STUNNED Basildon community is reeling at the revelation that a girlfriend was accidentally included in the top-level Bazzy Lads On Tour group chat.

'I am coming for you and everything you love' says Reeves

THE Chancellor has confirmed that she will be targeting you and everything you hold dear in her Spring Statement this week.

We ask you: can Russia conquer the world by causing us minor inconvenience?

RUSSIA is suspected to be behind yesterday’s closure of Heathrow which irritated tens of thousands. Would further inconvenience force us to surrender?

'You know how you voted for extra public spending? Well…' says Reeves

THE chancellor has explained to the electorate that, just like with voting for lower immigration and Boris, they will not be getting exactly what they asked for.

Reform suffering consequences of all being mad bastards

A SCHISM in Reform UK is the inescapable consequence of running a party entirely composed of frothing mad f**kwits, its leader has admitted.