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Roll up, roll up, come see my collection of shitheads the public hates, says Farage

COME one! Come all! See the largest collection of venal turncoats disliked by the British electorate one can ever imagine!

Jenrick retaliates by sacking Kemi

I too am backing Reform after being denied a peerage, by a gas-fitter from Derby

THAT Nadim Zahawi? I get where he’s coming from, mate. Because just like him, I’m backing Reform for government because no f**ker would elevate me to the Lords.

To crush Reform's popularity I will also defect, says Starmer

THE prime minister has announced that, in order to demolish Reform’s lead in polling, he too is defecting to Reform.

Six Farage clauses that need to be inserted post-haste

THE EU is demanding a Farage clause be inserted in any trade deal, and the UK is demanding the following Farage clauses be inserted now that’s an option.

Trump unpredictable, if you don't realise he only does easy stuff he can personally profit from

IT is impossible to predict Donald Trump’s actions except by working out what is easy to do that he will personally gain prestige or money from, according to political observers.

Trump thinks he's done the hard bit

Woman with black, square head furious she's been outed in Epstein files

A WOMAN with a head shaped like a perfect black square is outraged to have her identity exposed by the release of the Epstein files.

We ask you: What should a merged Reform and Tory party be called?

RIGHT-WINGERS are calling for a merger between the Conservatives and Reform. But what could be the name of such an unholy union?

We don't remember making a sitcom called 'Hitler Was Right', says BBC

THE BBC has searched its archives but cannot find any trace of an offensive 1970s sitcom about how much better life would be if Hitler had won the war.