Politics

Homeless people are untidy, Britain reluctantly agrees

DESPITE the UK’s natural unwillingness to help the unfortunate, Burnham’s plan to end rough sleeping has won support because they are rather scruffy.

Richard Tice's guide to sitting back and enjoying a wildfire

WHY the hysteria? Climate change can’t be fought. Instead, follow these simple rules and you’ll find yourself savouring the wildfires in your neighbourhood.

I won, so Binface now faces a parliamentary investigation over a £5m donation. That is how elections work

I TRIUMPHED in the Clacton by-election, therefore Count Binface must face the Parliamentary Standards Committee. Because that is democracy in action.

Clacton being made to look stupid, says racist pensioner next to crazy golf course

A RESIDENT of Clacton-on-Sea feels the by-election sparked by its grifting, usually absent MP is making the depressing, anachronistic resort look bad.

Binface and Farage in love

NIGEL Farage and Count Binface have announced they are hopelessly in love and whatever tomorrow’s result is will rule Clacton together.

We ask you: Where has Andy Burham buggered off to on holiday?

THE prime minister is on holiday, but has unsportingly refused to reveal where to avoid class-based judgements. Where do you believe the coward has run off to?