JUST one hour into the Glastonbury festival, attendee Tom Booker has admitted it is ‘not for him’ with approximately 96 hours left to go. 

The 32-year-old came to the festival with friends and had already discovered he did not like camping or sitting on the ground before today’s discovery that he also abhors crowds and Supergrass.

He said: “I don’t mean to be rude, but could everyone just f**k off?

“Sorry, but when I can’t push my way through writhing throngs of humanity in a field without being assaulted by a cyberpunk morris dance troupe when it’s £12.20 a falafel and The Script are on later, I for one am wondering when it becomes fun.

“Nothing against it. Always been a fan on the telly. Nobody mentioned that being here is pretending being trapped in central London in rush hour during a tube strike is a party.

“Right. So five days of no sleep, losing everyone I know, watching bands through a forest of flags from a great distance away, hemmed in by the most anti-social of behaviour, unable to wash, my phone dead, my heart pining for home.

“Drugs? Here? Why would anyone take drugs here?”