How to cut down on your outgoings and battle rampant inflation in 1982

INFLATION is at its highest since the dark days of 1982. So how would you have coped with the spiralling cost of living 40 years ago?

The vindictive bastard's guide to why a recession would be great

MANY voters in the UK are mainly motivated by seeing other people get shafted. Here total shit Norman Steele explains whose lives should be made miserable by the predicted recession.

Middle class family enjoying pretending cost-of-living crisis will affect them

A MIDDLE class family are having lots of fun pretending they will be impacted by the cost-of-living crisis, it has emerged.

N-Dubz, and other f**king awful things from the 2000s to get weirdly nostalgic about

A SURPRISINGLY large number of people are excited to hear that N-Dubz are reforming. What other cultural lowlights are best left in the 2000s?

Grey squirrels voted UK's cutest vermin

THE grey squirrel has topped a poll to find the country's cutest vermin that should be exterminated, closely followed by moles.

Man who claims he's neither a boob or an arse guy asked what he likes about women then

A MAN who says he is neither a boob man nor an arse man has forced friends to conclude that there must be not be anything he likes about women.

Young person not going to make mistake of getting old

A YOUNG person has decided they will not fall into the trap of getting old like their parents and grandparents did.

Six occasions in a horny man's life that are suffused with sexual tension

MALE? Horny? Convinced that every encounter with the opposite sex is absolutely bubbling with suppressed sexual energy? Especially these ones?

10 things you say that you absolutely do not f**king mean

LIES are the glue that holds society together, and sometimes you’re forced to be not 100 per cent totally sincere. Like every time you use these phrases.

How out of touch are you on a scale of '0' to 'an MP who says meals cost 30p'?

WORRIED you’re losing touch with real life? Take our quiz and find out if you’re quite grounded or talking shite like Tory MP Lee Anderson. Award yourself points as instructed.