Water bills and other things that will instantly absorb any energy bill savings

THE typical energy bill is set to fall by £238, but don’t crack open the champagne just yet. That money will instantly get sucked up by these other expenses.

All woman's anecdotes about how attractive she is

EVERY single one of a 28-year-old woman’s anecdotes centre on ardent men, jealous women or the sadness of only being appreciated for her stunning looks.

Avocados, takeaway lattes and other things young people must buy to save the economy

BRITAIN is in a recession, so it’s up to young people who frittered their money like idiots a couple of years ago to kickstart the economy by purchasing these vital items.

Britain enters recession it's been in for ages

BRITAIN has officially entered the recession that it has been in for at least two f**king years, figures have shown.

Valentine's Day makes fatal error of going right up against much better Pancake Day

DEVOURING circles of delicious fried batter will win over romantic declarations of love every time, it has been confirmed.

How to help in a life-threatening situation by filming it on your phone

FIRST aiders and have-a-go heroes often save lives in dangerous situations. But who is filming it for Twitter and TikTok? Here’s how to play an equally vital role with your smartphone.

18-month-old living in Orwellian surveillance state

AN infant has expressed her resentment toward the nightmarish surveillance society she is forced to live in.

Temporary traffic lights opportunity for mindfulness, claim men in hi-viz

HIGHWAYS workers have urged the public to embrace the opportunity for relaxation and centering oneself afforded by their temporary lights.