Society

A WOMAN preparing for a night out has entered the third day of applying and redoing her winged eyeliner.

OUR culture is full of wonderful creations the public once had great affection for who have been overused to the point we now hate them. All these need to piss off.

THE Prince of Wales is watching events within his close family play out while still believing he will become King William V one day.

ANDREW Mountbatten-Windsor is currently bemused to see patches of moisture appearing on his body, it has emerged.

THE Arctic blast sweeping parts of the UK could be hazardous, especially to your wanking. Here’s how to get yourself off safely in icy conditions.

A PUB’S diversifying clientele has separated into groupings of those who wear the same brands as the professionals and those who dress from Sports Direct.

THINK you know your history? Prepare to be shocked as you discover everything they taught you in school was a lie.

MARTYN Lewis has criticised the student loan system which leaves graduates with unpayable debts of £53,000. Was your time at uni worth such a hefty sum?

A MAN has discovered an open-minded, harmonious clarity which makes the world seem a wonderful place and all problems surmountable moment after ejaculating.

ROMAN treasures are not the only things found on the HS2 route. These rudimentary artefacts of the Midlands peoples have also been unearthed.