Society
Kicking a football back, and five other challenges to your masculinity
BEING a bloke comes with a hideous array of unreasonable expectations. Consider yourself a failure as a man if you fall foul of any of the following:
How to blame a teacher for your child being a horrible little shit
HAVE you inadvertently brought your child up to be a total nightmare? Here’s how to absolve yourself from blame by saying it’s all the fault of their teacher.
Do spelling and grammar matter? A debate by two twats
SOME UK universities have relaxed their standards on spelling and grammar. Here pompous old git Norman Steele debates the issue with young, trendy wanker Josh Hudson.
'With regards to yourself' and other annoying ways people speak
LEARN to speak proper and not get on other people’s nerves by avoiding these five common mistakes:
'Doesn't suffer fools gladly', and other ways to describe unreasonable bastards
SHOULD we really describe people as ‘not suffering fools gladly’ when in fact they’re just opinionated gobshites? Here are some weird euphemisms for unreasonable folk.
Want go Primark and pub-pub, by a grown British adult
LOCKDOWN stupid. Want go Homebase and get big plant pots and go pub with Pete, Gavin and Steve. Covid is silly and stupid and I hate it.
Shoddy parking, and other reasons your dad wants to bring back hanging
CAPITAL punishment was abolished in 1964, which was too soon, according to your dad. Here are some random irritations that make him long for the days of the hangman's noose.
Five memes that need to die a slow, painful death
SICK of seeing jokes regurgitated on social media with diminishing returns? Watching these five memes meet a grisly end would put a smile on anyone’s face.
Getting a mortgage, and four other things that will turn you into a Tory
IT’S said that people become more conservative as they age, but why does that happen? Here are some life events that will turn you from a radical young firebrand into a stuffy old Tory.
Things you won't see in the Buckingham Palace gardens you wish you could
IF you visit the gardens of Buckingham Palace this summer, is it too much to ask to see a live rerun of It’s A Royal Knockout? Here’s what you should be able to look at.
Five huge crazes of the 80s that were dreadful bollocks
EVERY decade has its crazes, but the 1980s featured some particularly strange ones. Take a trip down memory lane to a weird time when adults wore deely boppers.
Sadiq Khan's guide to a legal weed London
I’M SADIQ Khan, the Mayor of London who’s proposed decriminalising cannabis to piss Boris off. Come with me on a journey around my legal weed capital.