Society

Parents explain younger sibling is just more creative

THE parents of two adult siblings have explained that they have to fund the younger one’s unconventional lifestyle because he is more creative.

Do you just repeat any b*llocks you hear in the pub?

ARE you the sort of sh*thead who unquestioningly trots out anything someone in a pub tells you? Shared any of these?

Woman f**king furious to be given seat on bus

A WOMAN who was given a seat on a London bus is absolutely fuming at the judgmental b*stard who did it.

Man drives 30 miles out of his way to pay 5p less for petrol

A DRIVER with an eye for a bargain made a 30-mile detour to fill his tank at a petrol station with fractionally cheaper prices.

The British person's guide to perpetual victimhood

ARE you convinced your life in a fairly average part of Britain is a waking nightmare? Here’s how to get the most out of your imaginary victimhood.

Adorable Brummie thinks he's going to be a yuppie

A BIRMINGHAM man has amused his family and friends by telling them he will use HS2 to get a well-paid job in London.

Search for end of Sellotape enters second day

THE search for the end of a roll of Sellotape has entered its 25th hour.

Man takes half an hour to turn off his car alarm

A MAN has taken 30 minutes to shut off his deafening car alarm.

Five made-up crises to be angry about now immigration is over

BRITAIN’S fictional immigration crisis is at an end thanks to Brexit, so what will Middle Englanders raise their blood pressure about now?

Woman gains superpower of invisibility by going out without make-up

A WOMAN has gained the incredible superpower of invisibility by going out with her hair scraped back and without any make-up.

Which font should you use for a racist letter to your neighbours?

WRITING a racist note for your neighbours’ door? Without the right font, nobody will take your unjustifiable prejudices and unlikely threats seriously.

New mum jealous of her partner's commute

THE mother of a two-month-old baby has admitted she is jealous of her partner’s two-and-a-half hour daily commute.