How to be an offended baby boomer

Society

DO you feel you’re being unfairly attacked for being a baby boomer, despite believing anyone with a grievance is a ‘snowflake’? Here’s what to do.

SPLASHING water everywhere while driving along waterlogged roads is the key to peak happiness in adulthood, a survey has found.

A MAN has just remembered that living in Britain between the beginning of November and the end of February is a total f**king nightmare.

A TRAIN station piano has apologised for all of the performances made by attention-seeking twats.

A 31-year-old man has politely asked that you please respect his crazy, utterly idiotic opinions.

A WOMAN has booked a train seat reservation online, safe in the knowledge that it is probably meaningless.

A MAN reported his neighbours to the police after it emerged they were having much better sex than he has ever had.

DO you want to hijack an act of remembrance for your own purposes, or just be a general idiot about poppies? Here’s how.

A BREXITER hearing fireworks going off has mistaken them for the pro-Brexit riots he is expecting to sweep the country.

BUILDERS and plumbers have confirmed that they know full well they are given the oldest and ugliest mugs for their tea.

PUBLIC transport in the UK is still not the envy of any other place on Earth, research has confirmed.

A TWAT who has reached the front of the queue after 25 minutes has finally started to decide what he wants.