The next six things we're taking away from poor people, by the Government

YOU scrounging paupers have had it too easy for too long. Here's what we, the government, will be taking away after £20 off Universal Credit.

Five shite items from your wardrobe a Gen Z teen would buy as 'vintage'

TEENS will wear any old shit if you say it's vintage. Here are five items of clothing you can flog to the idiot young.

Man who isn't a total arsehole keeps being called 'woke'

A MAN who is not an irredeemably awful arsehole is being praised as a 'woke' progressive.

Beeping clears traffic jams: a driving lesson from an Audi owner

Julian Cook, Audi-driver and all round car expert, gives you his take on the rules of the road.

Five bollocks childhood memories your brain made up

CHILDHOOD was an idyllic, carefree time where everything was wonderful. Or was it? Here are five lies your brain tells you about it.

Chinos, and other ways to show you're a twat that are cheaper than buying a Tesla

TESLAS are ludicrously expensive so why not try a more cost-effective way to highlight how much of a twat you are?

Five great things we had in the 1970s that we won't have in the coming 70s rerun

READY for the return of the shortages and inflation of the 1970s? Don’t worry, the Tories won’t offer us these comforts...

Loser student joins all the societies

A CREDULOUS loser of a student has signed up to all the societies at his university’s Freshers’ Fair.

The three-day week, inaccurately remembered

IN 1974, coal shortages forced Britain to move to a three-day working week. As that prospect looms again, Britons remember those times entirely inaccurately.

Five things that should no way be that bloody expensive

INFLATION is skyrocketing, which is bad news for those household items that are guttingly expensive. Which are you digging deep for?