Lowest possible acceptable amount donated to friend's fundraiser

THE smallest possible socially acceptable sum of money has been donated to a friend’s fundraiser, it has emerged.  

Butlin's, and Britain's other true no-go areas

RIGHT-WINGERS say parts of the UK have become ‘no-go areas’ due to immigration, but they’re wrong. Here are the British places you should never set foot in, simply because they are irretrievably dreadful.

Man reporting shoplifter thinks he'll get a prize

A MAN who went unnecessarily out of his way to grass up a shoplifter is expecting a big reward, he has confirmed.

Water bills and other things that will instantly absorb any energy bill savings

THE typical energy bill is set to fall by £238, but don’t crack open the champagne just yet. That money will instantly get sucked up by these other expenses.

All woman's anecdotes about how attractive she is

EVERY single one of a 28-year-old woman’s anecdotes centre on ardent men, jealous women or the sadness of only being appreciated for her stunning looks.

Avocados, takeaway lattes and other things young people must buy to save the economy

BRITAIN is in a recession, so it’s up to young people who frittered their money like idiots a couple of years ago to kickstart the economy by purchasing these vital items.