Society

PUPILS on a school trip have come back with no new knowledge except that a classmate’s mum is a certified MILF.

BARRATT Homes have confessed they have no idea who designs, builds or orders their identical housing estates or why they keep appearing everywhere.

WORRIED about crime in your area? Excessive whimsy is much more of a danger. Here are some warning signs to look out for.

A WELL-off mother and father are feeling grateful that their child has the good fortune to be born wealthy, it has emerged.

A MAN staying in a regular hotel is longing for the underlying hostility of booking a night in an Airbnb, it has emerged.

TOO many graduates have insufficient knowledge of the psychosexual elements of the Alien films, industry leaders have warned.

CYCLISTS have emerged from winter hibernation to display their summer plumage and demonstrate their fertility to uninterested potential mates.

YOUNG would-be homebuyers are still clinging to their nauseating rose-tinted hopes and dreams, it has emerged.

YOU have suspended my daughter. You, who’s meant to be educating her for six hours a day but can’t cope with a bit of challenging behaviour. And now the vicious cow’s at home.