The three-day week, inaccurately remembered

IN 1974, coal shortages forced Britain to move to a three-day working week. As that prospect looms again, Britons remember those times entirely inaccurately.

Five things that should no way be that bloody expensive

INFLATION is skyrocketing, which is bad news for those household items that are guttingly expensive. Which are you digging deep for?

Man who says he never knows when to tip always defaults to 'not tip'

A MAN who never knows when it is appropriate to tip always decides it would be less embarrassing not to, friends have noticed.

Mid-30s woman with no partner or kids unsure whether she's a total failure or f**king smashing it

A SINGLE woman in her mid-30s with no kids cannot tell if she is winning at life or a complete and utter loser.

Father and son tossing ball to each other are most basic bitches in park

A FATHER and son tossing a ball back and forth are the most basic bitches in the park, onlookers have agreed.

Leaded petrol, ditching seatbelts and the old money: the next six post-Brexit bonuses

THE return of imperial measurements is just the start of our glorious post-Brexit bonuses. Here’s what else we can look forward to.

Weed dealers allowed to sell in ounces again

BRITAIN’S hard-working cannabis dealers are to be allowed to sell in eighths and quarter-pounds again as a Brexit benefit.

Five friends your child will bring home from school, and how you'll loathe them

HAS your child just started a new school? Here are five types of friends they’ll inevitably bring home that you’ll have to tolerate.

Six hysterical adolescent claims you made in your teenage diary that are still true today

WHEN you were an acne and angst-ridden adolescent, you filled your diary with outraged hysterical moans. These six have proved surprisingly accurate.

Gen Z teen amazed elderly woman in her 30s still attractive

A GEN Z 17-year-old is blown away that a woman in her late 30s is not utterly decrepit.