Society

Nose picking, and other activities people think are invisible when performed in a car

ENJOY having an in-depth rummage in your nasal passages while driving to Tesco? Did you know people can see you doing that, and these things too?

Window cleaners, and five other people you're too middle-class to sack

ACROSS non-confrontational Britain, homeowners huddle together, united in receiving poor service but too cowardly to say anything. They dream of dismissing these.

The Home Counties, ranked from fewest twats to most twats

THE Home Counties are the most important counties in Britain according to their arsehole residents. But which comes closest to being barely tolerable, and which is the absolute worst?

'So it's a grey blob?': the glaringly obvious problems with every single UFO sighting

THE Calvine UFO picture taken in Scotland is in the media again, and it remains a grey diamond that could be a rock. These are the other issues with all UFO sightings.

Posh people evolved to speak 37 per cent louder

THE aggressively loud volume of the average posh person is in fact a product of evolution, scientists believe.

We ask you: are you interested in any other miscarriages of justice, or just this specific one?

THE Lucy Letby case is making headlines after experts claimed there were no murders. Will this prompt you to look at other unfair convictions or is it a one-off?

Are Gen Z shiftless, idle bastards throwing away Britain's future or just in their 20s? An investigation

ARE today’s young people uniquely indolent and incapable of hard work, or just at the exact age when everyone is like that? Helen Archer looks into this urgent question.

Concerns about shoplifting you'll agree with until you realise I'm a racist. By Roy Hobbs

THE new trend of extremely brazen shoplifting is worrying. You’re probably agreeing with me now, but that's before you've realised I am a massive racist.

All motorists always beeping and waving, assumes shit driver

A MAN believes the roads of the UK are packed with swearing, gesticulating red-faced motorists as he encounters so many every single day.

Deluded man swears you used to be able to buy things with a fiver

A MAN who has lost his grip on reality is convinced that goods or services could once be bought with nothing more than a five pound note.