Beeping clears traffic jams: a driving lesson from an Audi owner

Julian Cook, Audi-driver and all round car expert, gives you his take on the rules of the road.

Five bollocks childhood memories your brain made up

CHILDHOOD was an idyllic, carefree time where everything was wonderful. Or was it? Here are five lies your brain tells you about it.

Chinos, and other ways to show you're a twat that are cheaper than buying a Tesla

TESLAS are ludicrously expensive so why not try a more cost-effective way to highlight how much of a twat you are?

Five great things we had in the 1970s that we won't have in the coming 70s rerun

READY for the return of the shortages and inflation of the 1970s? Don’t worry, the Tories won’t offer us these comforts...

Loser student joins all the societies

A CREDULOUS loser of a student has signed up to all the societies at his university’s Freshers’ Fair.

The three-day week, inaccurately remembered

IN 1974, coal shortages forced Britain to move to a three-day working week. As that prospect looms again, Britons remember those times entirely inaccurately.

Five things that should no way be that bloody expensive

INFLATION is skyrocketing, which is bad news for those household items that are guttingly expensive. Which are you digging deep for?

Man who says he never knows when to tip always defaults to 'not tip'

A MAN who never knows when it is appropriate to tip always decides it would be less embarrassing not to, friends have noticed.

Mid-30s woman with no partner or kids unsure whether she's a total failure or f**king smashing it

A SINGLE woman in her mid-30s with no kids cannot tell if she is winning at life or a complete and utter loser.

Father and son tossing ball to each other are most basic bitches in park

A FATHER and son tossing a ball back and forth are the most basic bitches in the park, onlookers have agreed.