'No probs!': Five phrases to hide your crushing disappointment

LIFE not going your way again? Feel yourself slipping into a pit of despair? Put on a happy face by using these feelgood phrases.

Sturgeon, Markle and the other most evil figures of British history: A Daily Mail guide

IT’S hard to believe, but even Great Britain has produced some bad characters. Here the Daily Mail explains which ones are the very worst.

Six great ways to trigger grammar pedants

BORED and want to set someone frothing with your misuse of the English language? Strict grammarian Professor Denys Finch Hatton tells you how.

Six words people mispronounce that make you want to punch them

DO you want to throttle that person in your life who insists on pronouncing it ‘vice-a versa’? Here are some more you will also hate.

The gammon's made-up guide to diversity training

THE BBC is currently encouraging all its staff to take part in diversity training. Here gammon Roy Hobbs imagines what this will involve and explains why it is an outrage.

Middle class parent launches pre-emptive complaint about son's GCSEs

A MIDDLE-CLASS mother has launched an appeal against the unfairness of her son’s GCSE grades, which have yet to be decided. 

Wind chimes in the garden and other ways to really f**k off your neighbours

DO you want to passive-aggressively annoy your neighbours without doing something obviously twatty like playing loud music? Here’s how to sneakily piss them off.

Bringing back corporal punishment, and four other political goals for Brexiters

BREXIT has happened and is good and bloody hard, so are hardcore Brexiters happy? Of course not. Leaver Roy Hobbs explains what he’s rabidly obsessing over now.

Britain set for glorious summer of car park arguments

THE UK is looking forward to a marvellous summer of bitter arguments in car parks near tourism hotspots.

Hitler Avenue: the street names the British public really want

LOCAL councils are changing outdated and offensive street names. But what names would the good old British public really like? Here are some suggestions.