Society

TO you they were friends and companions. To your parents, they were teachers of the brutal reality of mortality. This is how they died.

WORRIED that sending your kids to private school will be unaffordable with VAT on fees? Simply fake the whole thing - you’ll save a fortune, and it can be as ridiculously posh as you like!

THE perpetual question of whether any random space has hosted some level of sexual activity can always, without fail, be answered in the positive, it has emerged.

THE number of young people going to university could soon be the same as the number of young people who should be going to university, the government has confirmed.

AFTER Jon Bon Jovi successfully prevented a suicide attempt on a bridge, Radiohead’s Thom Yorke has attempted to do likewise with slightly less positive results.

CAN you no longer walk down the high street without being stuck behind a gaggle of self-important slowly-perambulating freshers ? This is your next ten weeks:

TRUMP wasn’t lying about immigrants eating pets. They’ve been doing it in Britain for years, and there's a mountain of evidence if you know where to look. Such as this...

THE picturesque town of Luton in Bedfordshire is considering a levy on visitors to pay for the upkeep of its iconic but over-touristed streets.

MEN have explained that they leave the toilet seat up not because they are lazy bastards, but so women can feel confident it will not be covered in piss.