Society

Read a real book: how to be the most superior twat on your bus

RIDING the bus is miserable, but you can keep yourself entertained by proving how superior you are to all the other passengers by following these tips.

Women allowed to objectify women

WOMEN are allowed to judge one another on the quality of their physical appearance without it being at all problematic, it has emerged.

'You think you're f**king hard, do you?' and five other things not to say to bouncers

BRITAIN'S door staff have heard every wisecrack slurred by pissed punters. These six comments will fail to persuade them to let you enter.

Hot MILFS in your area want you to babysit

NEARBY MILFs are gagging for you to look after their kids for a few hours so they can go out for a drink with their mates.

Adventurous single man has masturbated in every room in house

A SINGLE man who is unafraid to let adventure and experimentation into his sex life has masturbated in every room in his house.

Older people are entitled and soft, here's why national service is the answer

OLDER generations have got it easy with their massive homes and life savings. Here’s why national service would sort them out.

Is your child's school a collapsing deathtrap? We’re not telling you, says government

IS your child’s school built with 40-year-old concrete on the verge of collapse? Please wait for a letter from your school’s headteacher to confirm.

Middle-class scavengers picking over the remains of dying Wilkos

POSH shoppers who would never normally be seen dead in a High Street chain store are greedily picking over the bones of discounted stock in Wilko.

The man's guide to surviving eye contact with a breastfeeding woman

ACCIDENTALLY locked eyes with a woman with her boob out and don’t know what to do? Follow this guide.

Friend’s other friends worst people imaginable

A WOMAN meeting the other close friends of a person she dearly cares about was horrified to discover they are all inconceivably dreadful.