Society

A LONDON resident told housing outside the capital is readily available for less than half a million pounds has dismissed it as a provincial hoax.

THE conductor of a train from London to Manchester has enjoyed his sixth climax of the day by telling passengers their tickets are invalid.

A PROPER traditional racist who bases his prejudice on skin colour is horrified by the rising tide of anti-Semitism.

THE classic ice lollies of the 70s and 80s are more than just nostalgia. They symbolise a better time which only Reform can bring back, explains councillor Norman Steele.

A LONDONER’S journey to work resembles Odysseus’s journey home from Troy according to her self-serving bullshit account of the saga.

SHEFFIELD University has carried out a study of regional insults, most of which are stupid and make you sound like a halfwit yokel. Here is a sample in order of increasing shitness.

A MAN hosting a pub quiz has, without warning, written questions only about Gillian Anderson. 

FORGET Big Ben and Buckingham Palace. If you want to show tourists what Britain is really like, take them to these places.