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Passengers to pay less for trains that don't turn up

RAIL firms are set to charge less for non-existent trains, thereby offering better value for services their customers do not receive.

We ask you: Is Polanski a psycho who wants to guillotine people?

THE Green leader re-posted an image of a man wearing a guillotine T-shirt on social media. Is that because he secretly loves lopping heads off?

Novelty of beach lasts for all of ten bloody minutes

Beautiful expensive sandals creating grubby, dirty feet

A PAIR of designer sandals are doing an incredible job of caking their owner’s feet in filth.

Six ways to survive having a friend who drags you to shit gigs

ANDY Burnham is helping struggling music venues, but this is bad news if you've got a muso friend who keeps insisting on seeing awful bands. Here's how to minimise your suffering.

Offering to pay more tax 'proves Lineker is pure evil'

GARY Lineker’s call for millionaires to be taxed more has proved beyond doubt that he is evil incarnate.

We ask you: Which annoying holiday photos are you sharing on social media?

BOMBARDING social media with holiday photos is the best part of going away. Which insufferable snaps are you posting online?

Bunging everyone a couple of grand would really ease the cost of living, says public

THE public have informed Andy Burnham that chucking everyone two grand would provide some much-needed breathing space.

Government to raise minimum age for choosing own haircut to 21

UNDER 21s are to be legally prevented from selecting their own haircut before they develop a sense of style.

The Fall, and other things about Manchester that were bollocks really

ANDY Burnham's Manchester branch of 10 Downing Street smacks of being based on a uncritical love of all things Manc. So do the city's claims to greatness stand up? Let's see.