Society

IRRITATING bastards who play TikToks loudly on public transport without headphones are greatly amused by the idea that they will be challenged and fined.

THE French have a lower retirement age and free universities because they’re not afraid to set a shop on fire. They would riot over any one of these British shit sandwiches.

AN upcoming ban on choking porn has not only saddened a fan of it but, because he cannot admit that, made him feel even more lonely.

THOSE French students rioting in the streets? That’s limbs, man. And we’re going to do the same because they’re right, school is boring and shit.

BOUGHT a diesel car seven years ago, for fuel efficiency? Now being gouged at the pumps? Turn the crisis to your advantage by skipping out on these events.

MEETING someone new and middle-class? They may assume, seeing you in your Reiss blazer, that you’re just like them when actually you’re better. Drop in these class markers.

US politicians who could never understand how routinely farcical everyday life in the UK is are still insisting they know who the bad guys are.

WHAT’S in a name? Well, if given to a child it can forever determine their position at the bottom end of Britain’s hierarchy. There will be no social climbing for these.