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Society

Am I part of the whiniest generation in history?

I WAS born in 1994, at the tail end of the shoegaze era. Am I especially unfortunate to be part of the whiniest generation in history?

First-class train ticket well worth it for sense of superiority

TRAVELLING first-class by train offers the priceless experience of being far better than one’s fellow man, a passenger has discovered.

Gangster collecting £2m cash wondering if he gets the holdall free

A CRIMINAL taking delivery of £2 million in cash from a heist in order to launder it is wondering if he can keep the bag or bags it comes in.

Six nondescript Northern towns misguided enough to have Tourist Information Centres

NOBODY but a resident or a Reform candidate dreaming of an MP’s salary would ever visit, but these two-stall market towns have Tourist Information Centres anyway. Why?

Londoner doesn't believe there are properties under £500,000

A LONDON resident told housing outside the capital is readily available for less than half a million pounds has dismissed it as a provincial hoax.

Families going away at half-term didn't deserve to

'I'm afraid your ticket isn't valid on this service,' gasps train conductor, and comes

THE conductor of a train from London to Manchester has enjoyed his sixth climax of the day by telling passengers their tickets are invalid.

Good old traditional racist disgusted by anti-Semitism

A PROPER traditional racist who bases his prejudice on skin colour is horrified by the rising tide of anti-Semitism.

Cider Barrel, and other lollies that prove the old days were better and you should vote Reform

THE classic ice lollies of the 70s and 80s are more than just nostalgia. They symbolise a better time which only Reform can bring back, explains councillor Norman Steele.

Londoner had to get tram, two trains, bus, Lime bike, electric scooter, boat, and cable-car to work

A LONDONER’S journey to work resembles Odysseus’s journey home from Troy according to her self-serving bullshit account of the saga.