Society

MARTYN Lewis has criticised the student loan system which leaves graduates with unpayable debts of £53,000. Was your time at uni worth such a hefty sum?

A MAN has discovered an open-minded, harmonious clarity which makes the world seem a wonderful place and all problems surmountable moment after ejaculating.

ROMAN treasures are not the only things found on the HS2 route. These rudimentary artefacts of the Midlands peoples have also been unearthed.

ARE you an idiot who can’t help but ramp up the jeopardy if you’re stopped by the police? Make sure to do the following instead of meekly suggesting you shouldn’t get a ticket.

THE high street. Its dilapidated, empty shops are why so many will vote Reform. So why haven’t Labour filled it with nice, pretty new stores I will ignore to shop online?

A MAN unable to interpret what a call centre worker in a different country is saying to him is clearly a thoroughgoing racist, colleagues have agreed.

THE bus station of every town and city is a wild, lawless place where society has broken down entirely and madness reigns, studies have confirmed.

MEN of a certain age are clued up on the latest developments in sex and use appropriate terminology without shame. Your dad’s employed each of these.

CHEATING on driving tests went up by 50 per cent last year. How are you fraudulently attempting to pass yours?

IN turbulent times, one 82-year-old is bucking modern trends of racial and xenophobic hatred by reserving his ire for one specific group: the French.