Society

A RUDDY-FACED patriot is furious that one of his political enemies is commemorating Britain’s war dead in a way everyone is allowed to.

CHANCELLOR John Healey has delighted the nation by removing import tax from garlic. But how would you, someone with no financial education, improve the budget?

A WOMAN has stressed that the nurse outfit she is wearing for Halloween is sex positive, not slutty.

NEED to apologise to get the situation over with? Here’s how to insinuate that you're not really to blame.

THE Egyptian mummy removed from display at a Glasgow museum has confessed he felt violated by hundreds of eyes crawling over his linen-wrapped body.

THE government’s ‘Be Ready’ campaign is advising Britons on how to prepare for threats like extreme weather and cyber-attacks. Here girlfriend Nikki Hollis interprets that advice.

AHEAD of new tickets being released, the British Museum has confirmed the Shroud of Turin has been booked to warm up the queue to see the Bayeux Tapestry.

IRRITATING bastards who play TikToks loudly on public transport without headphones are greatly amused by the idea that they will be challenged and fined.