Five childhood traumas your parents still refer to as 'character building'

THEY f**k you up, your mum and dad. Philip Larkin said they don't mean to, but you've got your doubts. Here are five traumas they inflicted which they still classify as 'character building'.

I'm a low-income pensioner and I'm terrified of university cancel culture this winter

I’M 72 years old. I live on the basic state pension. And I don’t know how I’m going to cope come the winter. I’ve never been so worried in all my life. But here we are. 

The wide-eyed tourist's guide to f**king off the locals

OFF on your holidays? Want to annoy the locals with your infuriating enthusiasm? Do these things.

The Guardian reader's top 10 self-indulgent problems to write in about

THE Guardian's Lifestyle section offers practical advice to middle class people with non-problems. Here are the most common inconsequential dilemmas it solves.

Did your degree improve your 'earning potential' or was it f**king useless? Take Rishi Sunak's quiz

RISHI Sunak says he will phase out degrees that do not improve 'earning potential' if he becomes Prime Minister. Did yours, or was it just a fun way to piss cash up the wall? Find out.

Landlords and other people it's impossible to feel sorry for

EVERYONE has their struggles, but some people are impossible to sympathise with. Like these.

Woman only able to communicate in bullshit pop culture memes

DOCTORS are increasingly worried about a woman who has lost the power of speech due to years of expressing herself only in inane, unfunny internet memes.

The six days of your life you'll never want to live again

FROM being born to turning 40, life is littered with horrible experiences. Here are six you'll be glad you only have to suffer once.

The seven stages of grief for a bloody hamster, by a dad

THE death of a family hamster is tragic for kids but boring for everyone else. Dad Roy Hobbs explains the seven tedious stages of their grief.

Woman in leopard print top absolutely going to end up more pissed than her friends

A WOMAN wearing a leopard print top on a night out is guaranteed to get more drunk than any of her friends, it has been confirmed.