Society

LINGUISTS, HR departments and men named Steve have confirmed that the following words are technically compliments in the same way a pat on the head is. Avoid these.

COTSWOLD Council is facing a backlash from residents forced to use roads and pavements cleared with normal, non-boutique salt. 

A GROUP of mums on a housing estate in a deprived area are aggressively questioning the motives of a snowman playing with kids.

RECEIVED a hand-delivered Christmas card and wondering who the hell sent it? These methods to identify the culprits could set your minds to rest.

A PENSIONER has once again spent Christmas alone because he has alienated everyone in his life by being a bastard, it has emerged.

A COUPLE of top-tier tools have f**ked up royally by giving birth to a baby on Christmas Day, of all the f**king days.

DEAR all, where to begin? Another super busy year has flown by, and like all meaningful years it was defined primarily by interactions with the criminal justice system.

OUR Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ has told friends he is not really feeling his birthday this year and is probably just going to stay in.