Society

Temporary traffic lights opportunity for mindfulness, claim men in hi-viz

HIGHWAYS workers have urged the public to embrace the opportunity for relaxation and centering oneself afforded by their temporary lights.

Man watching The Traitors in underpants 'more than ready to go to war'

A MAN who spent last night watching The Traitors and drinking lager in his underpants is ready for war with Russia ‘tomorrow’, he has claimed.

We ask you: can the UK possibly survive a huge drop in working Royals?

THE King is undergoing surgery, the Princess of Wales is in hospital and the number of working Royals is approaching crisis point. Can we make it through?

How to survive an American candy shop coming to the high street of YOUR town

AMERICAN candy shops are turning your kids into junkies hooked on SWEETS and VAPES, as the Daily Mail would put it. Here’s what to do if this foreign menace appears on your high street. 

Mum furious you didn't tell her David Bowie was dead

A MOTHER is outraged that her son – her own flesh and blood – did nothing to inform her about the 2016 death of David Bowie despite his being fully aware.

Anything near a train station is f**king horrible

ANY bar, pub, coffee shop, sandwich shop or ordinary shop within 200 metres of a station is far more horrible than its distant counterparts.

School uniform bought in September no longer f**king fits

FOUR months of teenage growth and Christmas overindulgence have turned a child into a weird, fast-growing freak, his mother has reported.

Public demands Toby Jones be knighted instead of that real bloke

THE public has demanded a knighthood for Toby Jones, hero of ITV’s Mr Bates vs The Post Office, rather than the real Mr Bates the show was based on.

The Post Office scandal to Jimmy Savile: All the crimes Starmer is implicated in, according to a right-winger

SIR Keir Starmer is responsible for pretty much every single crime that has ever happened. Here right-winger Roy Hobbs explains why.

'Forget ruining all those people's lives, here's some Spice Girls stamps!' says Post Office

THE Post Office has asked you to forget about how it destroyed hundreds of people's lives and focus on a fun new set of Spice Girls stamps instead.