What to do if asylum seekers invade your retirement bungalow

ARE you a fearful older voter obsessed with asylum seekers thanks to the tabloids? Here’s what to do if hordes of them arrive in your cul-de-sac.

Nan still pissed off about uninvited visitors arriving at dinnertime in 2003

A NAN has still not forgiven members of her family for turning up at her house unannounced at 4.30pm 18 years ago.

Census to be redone after leaving out question on what you call a bread roll

THE 2021 census is to be recalled after leaving out the crucial question on what you and members of your household call a bread roll.

Are you the winner of a year of lockdown?

One year of lockdown on, how many cliched lockdown activities can you tick off our list?

Thanks f**king loads, peaceful protestors tell Bristol

PROTESTORS against new laws that would effectively ban peaceful protest have thanked Bristol for throwing a f**king riot.

Do you need to drive up a residential street at 53mph or are you a massive wanker?

ARE you speeding to rescue a child from a burning building or does going really fast for 40 metres make you feel like Vin Diesel, knobhead?

BMW driver causes 10-car pile-up after unexpectedly using indicator

A MOTORIST caused a large accident after veering off the road in shock when the BMW in front of him indicated at a roundabout.

Where all the money's gone, by Tommy Robinson

LIBERALS, who are the real racists, have accused me of spending my honest English patriot supporters’ money on booze and coke. Lies. Here’s where it went.

Are you going to be cancelled? Take our quiz

CANCELLATION is the terrible spectre stalking the 21st century, worse by far than poverty, Covid or climate change. But will it happen to you? 

Six questions Christians don't like being asked

THE Pope has ruled that ‘sinful’ same-sex unions can’t be blessed, so why did God create gayness anyway? And what about these thorny issues?