Society

Man excited to see house on TV following grisly murder in street

A MAN was delighted to catch a glimpse of his own home on TV during a news item about a killing just metres from his front door. 

2025 gone to shit in record time

2025 has defied expectations by descending into a grim hellscape within a single day, it has emerged.

'For the love of Christ, play with your new toys' child told

A CHILD complaining of boredom has been handed the ultimate slapdown with a suggestion he play with his new toys though it is the last thing he wants to do.

Cheese-rolling, and other quirky feel-good stories of 2024 with sinister subtexts

THE time of year when the media fills space with round-up of whimsical news stories of the year has come around. But are they actually deeply disturbing conspiracies?

Catching a Replacement Bus Service Home for Christmas: Festive songs if they were realistic

CHRISTMAS songs, all snowfall and merriment, are as realistic as a snowy village where children carol and adults carry armfuls of gaily-wrapped boxes. This is what it’s really like.

Mum sending lovely handwritten cards to everyone but f**king wankers who didn't send them last year

A WOMAN is sending Christmas cards with caring, personal handwritten messages to everyone except the worthless shitstains who did not send her cards in 2023.

The six arsehole parents at your child's nativity play

ATTENDING your child’s nativity play, even though he’s a mere shepherd for the second year running? Distract yourself with fury at these twats.

Nobody is allowed to question anything we do, say country folk

RESIDENTS of the countryside have confirmed nobody understands their rural ways and therefore any criticism of their actions is automatically invalid.

Chummy Northern bastard advert voiceover alienates everyone from any other region

THE majority of Britain has vowed never to buy a product from a company creating a false air of personability using the tried-and-tested friendly Northern voiceover.