Five late autumn days out that will make you wish you'd stayed at home

AS the misery of autumn gives way to the desolation of winter, there are plenty of awful days out to be endured. Including these ordeals.

Men secretly wearing leggings

ALL men are secretly wearing a nice warm pair of leggings beneath their jeans, it has been confirmed.

Six name changes your teenage band went through

ALL teenage band names follow the same humiliating trajectory. Here are the six stupid changes yours went through.

Six occasions premature ejaculation can be a real time-saver

PREMATURE ejaculation can be an embarrassing biological reflex but there are times it can work in your favour, Roy Hobbs explains.

Free Palestine march is left-wing family's day out

A LEFT-WING family are off for a lovely day out at their local Free Palestine march.

Where the f**k is the toaster? A fun game for houseguests

STAYING at someone else's house and trying to find the toaster? These are the places you will look as your sanity slowly unravels.

Man horrified to learn from bathroom cubicle wall that his mother 'gobbles knobs'

A MAN has been appalled to learn from some graffiti in a pub bathroom that his mum gobbles knobs, it has emerged.

Buying expensive paintings of tits: six smug middle-class ways to smash the patriarchy

JUST because you have money and no real desire for radical change it doesn’t mean you can’t be part of the sisterhood. Take on gender inequality in these ultimately meaningless ways.

TV show basis for conversation, girlfriend believes

A GIRLFRIEND is confident that TV programmes only provide the basis for a long ongoing conversation while they continue in the background.

'They should teach kids about tax at school,' says man who would have spent whole lesson drawing dicks

A MAN who spent his school days drawing penises on textbooks believes children would benefit from being taught about Britain's tax system.