Sport

The Millwall fan's guide to PC gone mad

WHEN you can't even boo a peaceful act of solidarity against racism, it's another win for the PC brigade. Here Millwall fan Steve Malley explains why the country is going to the dogs.

Pink football boots and four other reasons 'the game's gone'

THE Premier League is beset by issues like goals disallowed because two millimetres of a striker's soul has strayed offside. But it happened way before VAR – here's how:

Dad announces he has forgiven Maradona

A FATHER-OF-THREE has called the family together in the dining room and announced, with tears streaking his face, that he has forgiven Maradona. 

Audi driver speeding on M6 cites Lewis Hamilton as his inspiration

AN Audi driver going at 95mph in the outside lane of the M6 has admitted he would never have believed in himself if not for Lewis Hamilton.

Legendary comedy series 'Scotland in a tournament' returns for 2021

THE BBC has delighted viewers by announcing the surprise return of much-loved comedy series ‘Scotland in a football tournament’ next year. 

You’re all really bad at this, says Nadal

RAFAEL Nadal has accused his fellow tennis players of being pathetically bad at playing on clay.

Runner replaces photo of husband and children with Strava route

A KEEN runner has replaced the framed photo of her husband and children on her desk with a print-out of her latest Strava route.

Gunnersaurus struggling with universal credit application

GUNNERSAURUS is struggling to complete his application for universal credit after being sacked by Arsenal yesterday.

United to replace Harry Maguire with arthritic garden gnome with glass eye

MANCHESTER UNITED have moved to strengthen their defence by swapping Harry Maguire for an arthritic garden gnome with a glass eye.

Man United awarded further penalty four days later

MANCHESTER United have been awarded a further penalty in last weekend’s match against Brighton & Hove Albion.

The Tory activities you can ignore the Rule of Six for

SHOOTING grouse and stag-hunting are exceptions to the Rule of Six thanks to Conservative lawmakers, but what else?

Government appoints Harry Maguire as Greek ambassador

IN keeping with its policy of getting the right people for top jobs, the government has appointed Harry Maguire as ambassador to Greece.