Pitch just a large grassed area, pitch invaders discover

PITCH invaders at football games have discovered that the pitch is no more than a large grassed oblong with white lines painted on it.

Preston supporter stresses his hatred of Blackpool is non-homophobic

A PRESTON North End supporter has stressed his enduring hatred of Blackpool FC has nothing to do with its pioneering out gay player.

Man's greatest achievements in life were as an imaginary football manager

A MAN has looked back at his life and concluded that all of the achievements he is proudest of came while playing simulations of managing football teams.

Six sports that aren't sports because you play them pissed in the pub

THINK you’re sporty because you once beat your dad at arm-wrestling? No sport you can do after eight pints really counts as a true athletic endeavour.

The Guardian guide to whether supporting your football club is ethical

FOOTBALL fans love nothing more than running their support past the Guardian to check they’re meeting its ethical standards. Where does your club stand?

Child should not be learning martial arts

AN already aggressive child is taking lessons in how to punch and kick people more effectively.

The pleb's guide to dressing up all fancy like a twat for Cheltenham

GOING to the races and want to look fancy when your normal attire is trackie bottoms and trainers? Here’s how to dress for Cheltenham on a budget.

Other football clubs asked to take in Chelsea fans

OTHER Premier League football clubs have been asked to take in displaced Chelsea fans as their team faces ruin.

Sanctions are unfair but us buying any player we wanted wasn't: A Chelsea fan explains

THE sanctions on my beloved Chelsea FC are deeply unfair and an abuse of process. Spending hundreds of millions on the best players for 20 years is different. Here’s how:

Chelsea FC advertised for sale in Bastards & Despots Quarterly

CHELSEA FC has been put up for sale in exclusive billionaires’ publication Bastards & Despots Quarterly, it has been confirmed.