Sport

The sure-fire losers to back in the Grand National

PUTTING your once-a-year bet on, for a bit of fun? Here are the horses dead-on guaranteed to make the bookies money: 

watching football on tv

Middle class football fan prefers it without those dreadful crowds

A MAN who pretends to like football in order to impress other men has found his enjoyment of it unaffected by the ban on live crowds.

Six Nations rugby

Six Nations fans forced to piss in pint glasses over Zoom

THE pandemic has left Rugby Union supporters with no option but to be unbearable twats in the safety of their own homes.

Football club that's 'more than just a football club' just a football club

A FOOTBALL team that claims it is somehow more than that is full of crap, it has emerged. 

Manchester United nothing but bullies

THE Manchester United team who beat Southampton 9-0 yesterday are nothing but a bunch of nasty bullies, the Premier League has agreed.

Liverpool to start trying

AFTER slipping to fourth in the Premier League and being knocked out of the FA Cup, Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp has told his players to start trying.

The Millwall fan's guide to PC gone mad

WHEN you can't even boo a peaceful act of solidarity against racism, it's another win for the PC brigade. Here Millwall fan Steve Malley explains why the country is going to the dogs.

Pink football boots and four other reasons 'the game's gone'

THE Premier League is beset by issues like goals disallowed because two millimetres of a striker's soul has strayed offside. But it happened way before VAR – here's how:

Dad announces he has forgiven Maradona

A FATHER-OF-THREE has called the family together in the dining room and announced, with tears streaking his face, that he has forgiven Maradona. 

Audi driver speeding on M6 cites Lewis Hamilton as his inspiration

AN Audi driver going at 95mph in the outside lane of the M6 has admitted he would never have believed in himself if not for Lewis Hamilton.

Legendary comedy series 'Scotland in a tournament' returns for 2021

THE BBC has delighted viewers by announcing the surprise return of much-loved comedy series ‘Scotland in a football tournament’ next year. 

You’re all really bad at this, says Nadal

RAFAEL Nadal has accused his fellow tennis players of being pathetically bad at playing on clay.