Sport

THE public has furiously asked Nike why they cannot purchase a replica Mary Earps Sports Personality of the Year trophy, it has emerged.

THE woman who will referee a Premier League match next week confirmed she will not tell players what they have done wrong because they should already know.

STILL longing for a worthy opponent, the undisputed champion of winner-stays-on pool has died at the table after 30 years of victories.

A WOMAN consoling her boyfriend over the loss of Terry Venables has asked how come England never won if he was so good.

FANS of Premier League clubs have agreed that if Manchester City win today’s match against Liverpool they may as well just call the whole season for them.

AN Everton fan has said the Premier League can deduct ten points but cannot take away the memories of his club's incredible last few years.

FOOTBALL fans have suggested that, since Saudi Arabia is going to host the World Cup in 2034, why not let the murdering pricks win the f**ker as well.

A COUNTRY beset by horrifying news on every front is trying to wrap itself in the warm glow of Manchester United being beaten three-nil by City.

A FEMALE football fan has openly poured scorn on women’s football in a manner that is extremely offensive to women.

THE England team are in a World Cup semi-final, but sadly only in the game of rugby.