At least streak, Just Stop Oil told

JUST Stop Oil protestors have been told to get their knobs out or flash some tits if they are going to disrupt Wimbledon.

England apologises after remembering cricket is all Australia has

THE MCC has offered Australia a full apology after remembering that cricket is all the nation has to offer the world.

Cricket for posh twats and everything follows from that, report finds

AN independent report has concluded that cricket is largely played by wanker posh boys and is therefore bad in all the ways that posh wankers are always bad.

Support Manchester City tonight as patriots, Abu Dhabi fans told

FOOTBALL fans in the United Arab Emirates have been told to put their club affiliations aside and back Manchester City to bring it home for Sheikh Mansour tonight.

Football fan talks about his team's 'philosophy' like they're f**king Amnesty International

A FOOTBALL fan acts like his team is a force for moral good rather than a bunch of ruthless mercenaries prepared to bend every rule in order to win.

Manchester United to face off against evil nega-self

THIS afternoon’s FA Cup final sees Manchester United face off against their even more evil negative self, Manchester City.

What the continental football shirt you choose to wear says about the twat you are

BRITISH, but strutting around in an Inter Milan shirt like you’re something special? Did you know your chosen garment also reveals what kind of twat you are?

Complete losers' football teams facing relegation again

THE total loserdom of tens of thousands of football fans is shortly to be confirmed when their crap football clubs are deservedly relegated.

Football? Never heard of it, says Arsenal fan

A MAN who up until yesterday was an ardent Arsenal fan is now feigning ignorance about the sport of football as a whole, it has emerged.

New Chelsea manager grudgingly agrees to earn £20m for half-arsed six months

MAURICIO Pochettino will today reluctantly agree to earn eight figures for doing a shit job as Chelsea manager until November.