Sport

David Moyes's first day in charge

Noon: Wife forgot to pack Kit Kat - add ‘remind wife to pack Kit Kat for lunch’ to my to-do list.

Formula 1 switches to clown cars

RACING vehicle manufacturers are to base their designs on clown cars following the British Grand Prix.

Joe Kinnear wants Newcastle to play in comet formation

NEWCASTLE United's Director of Football plans to reshape the team formation to all chasing after the ball at once.

Mourinho press conference leaves a disgusting sticky mess

CHELSEA cleaning staff are still hosing down their press room after Jose Mourinho met reporters yesterday.

Real Madrid cracks down on Bernabéu-walkers

DOZENS of footballers have been spotted loitering around Real Madrid’s ground touting for business.

Newcastle apply for voluntary relegation

NEWCASTLE have volunteered to be relegated from the Premier League, following their 6-0 defeat at home to Liverpool.

Goal-line technology to bring universal justice

NEW goal-line technology is to be used in everyday life to create a more just world.