Sport

Man's greatest achievements in life were as an imaginary football manager

A MAN has looked back at his life and concluded that all of the achievements he is proudest of came while playing simulations of managing football teams.

Six sports that aren't sports because you play them pissed in the pub

THINK you’re sporty because you once beat your dad at arm-wrestling? No sport you can do after eight pints really counts as a true athletic endeavour.

The Guardian guide to whether supporting your football club is ethical

FOOTBALL fans love nothing more than running their support past the Guardian to check they’re meeting its ethical standards. Where does your club stand?

Child should not be learning martial arts

AN already aggressive child is taking lessons in how to punch and kick people more effectively.

The pleb's guide to dressing up all fancy like a twat for Cheltenham

GOING to the races and want to look fancy when your normal attire is trackie bottoms and trainers? Here’s how to dress for Cheltenham on a budget.

Other football clubs asked to take in Chelsea fans

OTHER Premier League football clubs have been asked to take in displaced Chelsea fans as their team faces ruin.

Sanctions are unfair but us buying any player we wanted wasn't: A Chelsea fan explains

THE sanctions on my beloved Chelsea FC are deeply unfair and an abuse of process. Spending hundreds of millions on the best players for 20 years is different. Here’s how:

Chelsea FC advertised for sale in Bastards & Despots Quarterly

CHELSEA FC has been put up for sale in exclusive billionaires’ publication Bastards & Despots Quarterly, it has been confirmed.

Rowing, and four other sports for wankers

IN most situations it's unfair to generalise about an entire group of people. However, if you meet someone who does one of these sports, it's safe to assume they're a massive bellend.

Djokovic fully supports your right to call him a knobhead

TENNIS star Novak Djokovic says he personally does not believe himself to be a knobhead but he fully supports your freedom to refer to him as one.