Sanctions are unfair but us buying any player we wanted wasn't: A Chelsea fan explains

THE sanctions on my beloved Chelsea FC are deeply unfair and an abuse of process. Spending hundreds of millions on the best players for 20 years is different. Here’s how:

Chelsea FC advertised for sale in Bastards & Despots Quarterly

CHELSEA FC has been put up for sale in exclusive billionaires’ publication Bastards & Despots Quarterly, it has been confirmed.

Rowing, and four other sports for wankers

IN most situations it's unfair to generalise about an entire group of people. However, if you meet someone who does one of these sports, it's safe to assume they're a massive bellend.

Djokovic fully supports your right to call him a knobhead

TENNIS star Novak Djokovic says he personally does not believe himself to be a knobhead but he fully supports your freedom to refer to him as one.

Wayne Rooney's guide to being a fantastic husband

EVER wondered how Wayne Rooney manages to be such a considerate and desirable spouse? Here the Derby County manager shares his secrets to a blissful marriage. 

The top seven Winter Olympic sports that would instantly kill you

THE Summer and Winter Olympics are pretty similar, except one is running and jumping and throwing and the other is a wasteland of frozen deathtraps.

Kate celebrates becoming patron of English rugby by shitting in pint glass

THE Duchess of Cambridge has celebrated becoming patron of English rugby by sinking 12 pints, climbing on the bar and dumping into a pint glass.

Djokovic to defend title via Zoom

TENNIS star Novak Djokovic is to compete in the Australian Open remotely via Zoom, it has been confirmed.

George Best and other sports stars today's modern, pansy athletes can’t compare to

MONEY and woke rules have ruined modern sports, according to old school fan Roy Hobbs. Here's his take on why today’s athletes can never compare to these gods:

Letting Djokovic stay could ruin our delicate ecosystem of twats, says Australia

ALLOWING Novak Djokovic to stay and compete in the Open could unbalance Australia’s ecosystem of enormous twats, the country has confirmed.