Sport

AMAZED darts fans believe that once 16-year-old darts semi-finalist Luke Littler can drink ten pints his game will take a quantum leap forward.

A FAMILY has spent Boxing Day in the best way possible – watching non-league football through thumping hangovers.

WHILE you slump on the sofa expelling the richest flatulence of the year, the aristocracy is out for a lovely traditional hunt. This is what you’d need to join in the murdery fun.

THE public has furiously asked Nike why they cannot purchase a replica Mary Earps Sports Personality of the Year trophy, it has emerged.

THE woman who will referee a Premier League match next week confirmed she will not tell players what they have done wrong because they should already know.

STILL longing for a worthy opponent, the undisputed champion of winner-stays-on pool has died at the table after 30 years of victories.

A WOMAN consoling her boyfriend over the loss of Terry Venables has asked how come England never won if he was so good.

FANS of Premier League clubs have agreed that if Manchester City win today’s match against Liverpool they may as well just call the whole season for them.

AN Everton fan has said the Premier League can deduct ten points but cannot take away the memories of his club's incredible last few years.

FOOTBALL fans have suggested that, since Saudi Arabia is going to host the World Cup in 2034, why not let the murdering pricks win the f**ker as well.