Sport

WOMEN have added scoring penalties to the long, long list of things they are better at than men, it has emerged.

A WEEKLY game of five-a-side is always ruined by the one player who seems to know what he is doing.

A WOMAN regrets mentioning the Women's World Cup to her mum, who thinks the England players should be less competitive and "more feminine".

THE public perception of cricket as a dickhead sport for absolute twats was confirmed after the Ashes series was decided by f**king rain.

SUPPORTING the Lionesses, who play Haiti at 10.30am today, means you have a duty to be properly lagered up before the game. Here’s how to get through it.

THE Women’s World Cup that is set to bring women’s football a new wave of popularity is on at 8.30am on a Thursday, it has emerged.

FATHERS attending their children’s annual sports day were appalled that the purpose of the event appeared to be enjoyment rather than fierce competitiveness.

ORDINARY people who do not give the slightest bugger about tennis are nonetheless rejoicing in Djokovic’s dramatic loss yesterday.

THE famous people in the crowd at Wimbledon are always incredibly bland and well-behaved. Which 'edgy' celebrities would liven things up a bit?

JUST Stop Oil protestors have been told to get their knobs out or flash some tits if they are going to disrupt Wimbledon.