Sport

SPANISH FA president Luis Rubiales has agreed to kiss all the rest of the girls on his country’s World Cup-winning football team if that will make them happy.

A VINDICATED Prince of Wales believes he made the right call by not flying to Australia to cheer on the Lionesses because they lost.

SCIENTISTS based in England have confirmed that losing a major football tournament is functionally identical to winning it.

A FANATICAL Lionesses fan has reacted to their World Cup final loss by saying ‘Shame,’ and turning over to Four In A Bed on E4.

A MOTHER watching the Women’s World Cup final will be happy so long as England and Spain have fun playing each other.

HAVING built its identity on football-related self-pity, England has no clue how it will react if it beats Spain on Sunday.

FANS of the Lionesses since their 2022 Euro win may today face the unpalatable discovery that they do not win every time.

PEOPLE in Australia already know who won today’s semi-final match because they are nine hours ahead.

AS Brighton midfielder Moses Caicedo agrees a £115m deal with Chelsea, 1980s football fan Norman Steele explains the true value of this summer’s transfers.

WOMEN excited about today's match against Colombia have started singing a boisterous yet modest football chant, it has emerged.