Women's World Cup scheduled like Frasier repeats

THE Women’s World Cup that is set to bring women’s football a new wave of popularity is on at 8.30am on a Thursday, it has emerged.

Fathers disgusted as good time had by all at sports day

FATHERS attending their children’s annual sports day were appalled that the purpose of the event appeared to be enjoyment rather than fierce competitiveness.

People who couldn’t give a f**k about tennis delighted Djokovic lost

ORDINARY people who do not give the slightest bugger about Wimbledon are nonetheless rejoicing in Djokovic’s dramatic loss yesterday.

Iggy Pop off his face on drugs, and other celebrities you'd like to see in the crowd at Wimbledon

THE famous people in the crowd at Wimbledon are always incredibly bland and well-behaved. Which 'edgy' celebrities would liven things up a bit?

At least streak, Just Stop Oil told

JUST Stop Oil protestors have been told to get their knobs out or flash some tits if they are going to disrupt Wimbledon.

England apologises after remembering cricket is all Australia has

THE MCC has offered Australia a full apology after remembering that cricket is all the nation has to offer the world.

Cricket for posh twats and everything follows from that, report finds

AN independent report has concluded that cricket is largely played by wanker posh boys and is therefore bad in all the ways that posh wankers are always bad.

Support Manchester City tonight as patriots, Abu Dhabi fans told

FOOTBALL fans in the United Arab Emirates have been told to put their club affiliations aside and back Manchester City to bring it home for Sheikh Mansour tonight.

Football fan talks about his team's 'philosophy' like they're f**king Amnesty International

A FOOTBALL fan acts like his team is a force for moral good rather than a bunch of ruthless mercenaries prepared to bend every rule in order to win.

Manchester United to face off against evil nega-self

THIS afternoon’s FA Cup final sees Manchester United face off against their even more evil negative self, Manchester City.