Sport

Darts players tested to make sure they're pissed

DARTS players will be drug tested to ensure they are properly pissed.

What the hell is the 'Nations League' and why does anyone care?

ENGLAND are through to the semi finals of an irrelevant competition that's not even as old as Prince William's youngest child, but, how much do you know or care about the national side's apparent footballing 'success'?

Man inexplicably into American sports

A MAN is a devoted fan of American sports and nobody has the slightest idea why.

Football fans experimenting with different types of suffering

THE start of the new football season has led football fans to try new ways of subjecting themselves to pain and misery.

New football fans expected to watch crap League Two games from now on

EVERYONE who was supporting England in the World Cup will be expected to continue their love of football when the season starts.

Mum still confident we can win it

A FOOTBALL novice mum has reassured her heartbroken family that England can pull something out of the bag and win the World Cup.

What totally regrettable thing will you be doing if England win... or lose?

WITH a chance of going through to the World Cup final at stake, England vs. Sweden is going to be somewhat tense. So how will you be losing your shit over the outcome?

England unveils brilliant new strategy of not playing anyone good

GARETH Southgate has revealed his plan to get England to the World Cup final by only playing the weakest opponents.

Diego Maradona's guide to having friends over for 'wine'

HOLA! I’m footballing legend Diego Maradona and here is my guide to having a few friends round for a quiet evening with cheese, pleasant conversation and ‘wine’.

How to make the World Cup tolerable if you f**king hate football

ARE you totally uninterested in football but face weeks of men kicking a little a ball around and analysing it? Read our handy tips for making it less tedious.