Sport

Man who thinks women's football is boring won't shut up about golf

A MAN who claims women’s football is slow and lacking in action also thinks men hitting tiny balls with sticks for hours is utterly fascinating.

Andy Murray to retire from being Scottish

ANDY Murray has admitted he is suffering too much to continue being Scottish and is to retire to a cottage in Kent.

Evil Guardian once again tricks football fan with article about women's football

THE scheming, duplicitous Guardian has again hoodwinked an innocent football fan into browsing an article about women’s football.

Darts players tested to make sure they're pissed

DARTS players will be drug tested to ensure they are properly pissed.

What the hell is the 'Nations League' and why does anyone care?

ENGLAND are through to the semi finals of an irrelevant competition that's not even as old as Prince William's youngest child, but, how much do you know or care about the national side's apparent footballing 'success'?

Man inexplicably into American sports

A MAN is a devoted fan of American sports and nobody has the slightest idea why.

Football fans experimenting with different types of suffering

THE start of the new football season has led football fans to try new ways of subjecting themselves to pain and misery.

New football fans expected to watch crap League Two games from now on

EVERYONE who was supporting England in the World Cup will be expected to continue their love of football when the season starts.

Mum still confident we can win it

A FOOTBALL novice mum has reassured her heartbroken family that England can pull something out of the bag and win the World Cup.

What totally regrettable thing will you be doing if England win... or lose?

WITH a chance of going through to the World Cup final at stake, England vs. Sweden is going to be somewhat tense. So how will you be losing your shit over the outcome?