Man not ethically conflicted about Qatari World Cup because none of it was up to him

A FOOTBALL fan is not in the least bit ethically conflicted about the upcoming World Cup because none of the decisions anywhere along the line were his to make.

All 26 members of the England World Cup squad and how they'll individually let us down

THE England World Cup squad has been named, much to the country's regret. Here’s how each of them will disgrace the shirt.

Unbelievably oblivious prick super-excited about World Cup

A MAN with his head up his arse who thinks politics is something that only happens to other people cannot wait for the Qatar World Cup to begin.

Liverpool fan wakes up from dream where he kisses Erling Haaland

A LIVERPOOL fan has sat bolt upright from a dream in which Erling Haaland scores a hat-trick against his team and then they make out.

The five stages of grief while filling in your World Cup 2022 sticker album

YOU’RE considering doing a Panini World Cup 2022 album even though this tournament barely counts. What stage have you reached?

Niche sports that got their 15 minutes of glory in Hollywood

THERE are only so many movies about boxing the public can endure. This is why Hollywood has resorted to making whole films about these niche sports.

The parent's guide to pressuring your child into sports they're shit at

THE whole point of having kids is to exorcise the ghosts of your own childhood failings through them. Here’s how to force them to take up sports they'll grow to loathe as much as you did.

Which football team you support basically horoscopes for men

MEN who scoff at star signs believe they can know a person's entire character and future life-trajectory based on what football team they support.

The football fan's guide to ruining a quiet Sunday pub roast

PUBS are the perfect place to watch the Premier League on a big screen and make lunch unendurable for innocent bystanders. Football fan Wayne Hayes explains how.

The pathetic beta man's guide to pretending you understand the Premier League

NEED to learn about the Premier League so you can fit in with the real men? Fake your knowledge ahead of the new season with this guide.