We ask you: who do you fancy to knock England out of Euro 2024?

THIS could be England’s year to go all the way to the stage where they are defeated by a better team, but who will that team be? 

Bill McKay, ferryman: “I’m an incorrigible optimist, so I’m saying France in the semi-finals. I know, I know, with a new untested team it’s almost impossible, but I can dream.”

Lynn Ryan, professional air hockey player: “Czechs in the quarters for me. Technically that’s impossible because they’re on the other side of the draw, but I believe that will reverse after the last 16 round along with the magnetic polarity of the Earth.”

Sophie Rodriguez, baker: “Who won Eurovision? Probably them, they’re on a f**king roll.”

Jules Cook, gatekeeper: “I imagine some kind of long-denied but quickly-validated Curse of Starmer?”

Martin Bishop, lecturer: “Ultimately, England. Always England.”

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

German police encouraging England fans to smoke weed have no f**king idea what they've done