Sport

A WOMAN consoling her boyfriend over the loss of Terry Venables has asked how come England never won if he was so good.

FANS of Premier League clubs have agreed that if Manchester City win today’s match against Liverpool they may as well just call the whole season for them.

AN Everton fan has said the Premier League can deduct ten points but cannot take away the memories of his club's incredible last few years.

FOOTBALL fans have suggested that, since Saudi Arabia is going to host the World Cup in 2034, why not let the murdering pricks win the f**ker as well.

A COUNTRY beset by horrifying news on every front is trying to wrap itself in the warm glow of Manchester United being beaten three-nil by City.

A FEMALE football fan has openly poured scorn on women’s football in a manner that is extremely offensive to women.

THE England team are in a World Cup semi-final, but sadly only in the game of rugby.

THE Wembley arch would be facing a monumental backlash no matter what colour the lights are, it has emerged.

FORMULA One boss Bernie Ecclestone has admitted to lifelong fraud and that he is actually six feet six inches tall.

JURGEN Klopp’s Liverpool team have arrived at Kenilworth Road, leapt onto the pitch and begun playing their replay against Spurs.