Sport

Dad announces he has forgiven Maradona

A FATHER-OF-THREE has called the family together in the dining room and announced, with tears streaking his face, that he has forgiven Maradona. 

Legendary comedy series 'Scotland in a tournament' returns for 2021

THE BBC has delighted viewers by announcing the surprise return of much-loved comedy series ‘Scotland in a football tournament’ next year. 

Government appoints Harry Maguire as Greek ambassador

IN keeping with its policy of getting the right people for top jobs, the government has appointed Harry Maguire as ambassador to Greece.

35 year-old wondering if it's really too late to become a professional footballer

A MAN in his mid-30s is still wondering if it is really too late for him to become a professional footballer.

Typhoon is no reason to cancel a rugby match, says retired PE teacher

RUGBY World Cup officials who cancelled matches because of a typhoon a 'bunch of fairies', according to a retired PE teacher.

New football season make everything better for man

ALL bad stuff in world gone away now football back, say man.

The best sports for avoiding your family and your problems

EXERCISE is great for your mental wellbeing because you can hide from your family and your problems in a cowardly way. Here are the best sports for avoiding real life.

Mum baffled as to why she has to watch so much shit children's sport

A MUM can see no valid reason for spending a huge part of her life watching small children’s totally inconsequential sporting events.

Man who thinks women's football is boring won't shut up about golf

A MAN who claims women’s football is slow and lacking in action also thinks men hitting tiny balls with sticks for hours is utterly fascinating.

Andy Murray to retire from being Scottish

ANDY Murray has admitted he is suffering too much to continue being Scottish and is to retire to a cottage in Kent.