Pissed middle-class women and four other things to expect at this year's Wimbledon

THE jewel in our summer sporting crown is back, and with it the usual marvellous sights that make us so proud to be British.

Should you support Wales tonight? Take our quiz

WALES play Denmark tonight, but are you supporting a home nation or being a dick about it? Find out with our quiz:

Harry Kane 'ornamental'

ENGLAND captain and striker Harry Kane is an ornamental flourish like the silver lady on the bonnet of a Rolls-Royce, Gareth Southgate has explained.

Suddenly get really good at football: Scotland's routes to qualification

SCOTLAND’S hopes of qualification hang by a thread. Which of these miracles could see them get through to the next round?

England to strike fear into opponents by scoring second goal

ENGLAND have vowed to strike terror into opponents at Euro 2020 by scoring a second goal.

Footballers of today who could be the angry, biased pundits of tomorrow

BIASED? Dour? Permanently irate? When Keane and Carragher hang up their mics, we’ll need those qualities. But which current players will be the pundits of the future?

Wales arrogantly expecting to win whole thing as usual

THE cocksure, entitled nation of Wales is already arrogantly assuming it will at the very least reach the final of Euro 2020.

England fans leave work early to enjoy Scotland loss

ACROSS England fans are leaving work early and settling down by the telly with a few cans to enjoy Scotland’s loss this afternoon.

Six deliberately irritating questions to ask during the match

NOT understanding the offside rule is for amateurs. Try these questions to get your football-loving companion truly enraged.

How to make football fairer for everyone, by a Guardian reader

FOOTBALL is a wonderful game, but is it too competitive? Here concerned Guardian reader Nathan Muir explains how he would make it a fairer and more liberal sport.