We ask you: which England player should be dropped, tarred, feathered and sent home?

THE England team, favourite to win the tournament, are in fact crap. Which one player is entirely responsible and should be sent home? 

Steve Malley, poker player: “What people don’t realise about Phil Foden is Pep controls him with a complex system of magnets under the pitch. Without those he’s useless.”

Martin Bishop, eel chef: “For me, if Trent Alexander-Arnold can’t master a position he’s never played for his country before in two games it shows he hates England.”

Charlotte Phelps, barmaid: “If Jude Bellingham’s intimidating the rest of them by being good and trying, kick him out. It’s a team game Jude.”

Carolyn Ryan, facilities manager: “Wait, I forget the rules. Isn’t it not until after the group stage we can swap say Toney for Mbappe and they can’t stop us?”

Joe Turner, farmer: “I know this one. It’s Lineker, isn’t it?”

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