Sport

A COUNTRY beset by horrifying news on every front is trying to wrap itself in the warm glow of Manchester United being beaten three-nil by City.

A FEMALE football fan has openly poured scorn on women’s football in a manner that is extremely offensive to women.

THE England team are in a World Cup semi-final, but sadly only in the game of rugby.

THE Wembley arch would be facing a monumental backlash no matter what colour the lights are, it has emerged.

FORMULA One boss Bernie Ecclestone has admitted to lifelong fraud and that he is actually six feet six inches tall.

JURGEN Klopp’s Liverpool team have arrived at Kenilworth Road, leapt onto the pitch and begun playing their replay against Spurs.

A YOUNG boy jumping erratically around a shopping centre has explained he is a highly trained parkour expert.

PRINCE Harry has appeared at an event it is impossible to criticise him for attending, which the conniving twat founded for exactly that reason.

SCOTLAND face England tonight in a friendly, but do they have any chance of winning now their talismanic striker Nicola Sturgeon has retired?

SPANISH FA president Luis Rubiales has sacrificed the job he loves so he and Jenni Hermoso are free to go out.