Shattered nation finding what comfort it can in Manchester United defeat

A COUNTRY beset by horrifying news on every front is trying to wrap itself in the warm glow of Manchester United being beaten three-nil by City.

Female football fan shamelessly sexist about women's football

A FEMALE football fan has openly poured scorn on women’s football in a manner that is extremely offensive to women.

England reach semi-final, but in rugby

THE England team are in a World Cup semi-final, but sadly only in the game of rugby.

Wembley arch f**ked either way

THE Wembley arch would be facing a monumental backlash no matter what colour the lights are, it has emerged.

Bernie Ecclestone actually six foot six

FORMULA One boss Bernie Ecclestone has admitted to lifelong fraud and that he is actually six feet six inches tall.

Liverpool invade pitch at Luton vs Spurs and begin replay

JURGEN Klopp’s Liverpool team have arrived at Kenilworth Road, leapt onto the pitch and begun playing their replay against Spurs.

Ten-year-old leaping on and off benches in shopping centre is 'doing parkour'

A YOUNG boy jumping erratically around a shopping centre has explained he is a highly trained parkour expert.

Harry appears at criticism-proof event the f**ker only went and f**king founded

PRINCE Harry has appeared at an event it is impossible to criticise him for attending, which the conniving twat founded for exactly that reason.

Can Scotland beat England without talismanic striker Nicola Sturgeon?

SCOTLAND face England tonight in a friendly, but do they have any chance of winning now their talismanic striker Nicola Sturgeon has retired?

Spanish FA chief resigns so he and Jenni Hermoso can date

SPANISH FA president Luis Rubiales has sacrificed the job he loves so he and Jenni Hermoso are free to go out.