Sport

The Premier League has never been better but you’re too cheap to go to their matches. Here’s what you’re getting by supporting a shit League Two team instead.

A NEW VAR system to correct bad VAR decisions is to be introduced in a bid to eliminate human error from football once and for all.

ANDY Murray is raging about having to work for five hours and finish at 4am. Here's how to feel sorry about this blatant breach of his human rights.

THE BBC has apologised for Gary Lineker interrupting interesting sex noises with his annoyingly matey football punditry. 

THE performance of a man’s fantasy football team has been severely affected by fantasy lawsuits with the fantasy club’s fantasy owners.

DID England lose against France because a striker failed to score a penalty, or for some other reason? We investigate.

THE grandparent you are dutifully visiting for Christmas has confirmed that she will not be putting the England-France game on, thank you.

FRANCE manager Didier Deschamps has told his team that existence is meaningless, all life’s strivings end in death, and winning will not bring them happiness.  

THE England team last night beat Senegal as simply and methodically as if every single English player was secretly a Kraut.

IT’S Christmas, and also the World Cup, therefore it must be Christmas at the World Cup. Follow these tips for a Yuletide football spectacular.