Hopes rising England might play like they've met each other

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England fan pops round to Netherlands fanzone to score eighth

AN England fan has swung by the Netherlands fanzone before the game to pick up an eighth of blueberry haze. 

Jordan Gardner of Nuneaton made the deal in the spirit of good-natured rivalry, honest sportsmanship and the recognition the English and Dutch share the common goal of getting properly f**ked up.

He said: “We were out with them last night and they’re good lads, the Dutch. Keen on their orange.

“Anyway I was telling them about on my last visit to their wonderful country, and how it’s not right the pigs can fine you for falling in a f**king canal, and the conversation turned to weed and whether he had any on him right now.

“He didn’t but his mate Henk was arriving in the morning and he’d be able to sort me out and so naturally we arranged an accord between our two great nations in the form of a quick pre-game deal.

“All very gentlemanly and we wished our respective teams good fortune and all that. Mind you spirits seemed very high in their fanzone. They didn’t seem worried about the match at all.”

Gerhard Uden said: “He does not know the marijuana is legal in Deutschland now. I buy, I mark up, I sell on. We will beat four nil.”