THE organisers of the Grand National have catapulted a horse into the side of a building to compensate for this year's lack of fatalities.
CARLISLE United has installed North Korean tactical genius Kim Jong Un as manager.
F1 BOSSES have launched an investigation after a race somehow became unfixed.
ENGLAND deliberately lost to Wales as part of a plan to boost the smaller country's morale, it has emerged.
THOUSANDS of Cheltenham attendees are discovering that horse racing is incomprehensible.
FOOTBALLERS have become sentient enough to cheat properly, it has been claimed.
ARSENE Wenger has revealed Arsenal’s entire kit cost him just £200 from the Highbury branch of Tesco.
ANDY Murray risks losing his status as a byword for risible mediocrity.