'Slime' flavour doughnuts: Halloween shit supermarkets will try and foist on you

WANT normal products but in spooky packaging? Supermarkets have got you covered with this Halloween-themed shit.

Six spooky stories that are bollocks when you think about them

GET in the mood for Halloween with these spine-chilling tales. Just don’t think about them too deeply or you’ll realise they’re bollocks.

Five weird things to have a mental knee-jerk reaction about

HAS the council suggested pedestrianising your local high street? You’d better write a furious rant about it on Facebook. Here are some things that set the dickheads off.

Your home, and other things to sell to afford the cost of living

STRUGGLING to make ends meet? Beat the rising cost of living by selling off these frivolous luxuries for cash.

How to be a knobhead on both sides of the woke debate

BEING for or against woke is all the rage at the moment. Instead of being reasonable, why not head straight for the demented extremes of the debate?

How to panic and f**k it up when someone asks for directions

BEING asked for directions used to be a common occurrence before smartphones intervened. Here are six deranged ways to react if it happens now:

'Actress' and other words you're not sure you can say any more

SOME words will cause horror if you say them, others you’re not so sure about. Here are some that are either totally fine or will get you ostracised forever.

Five things men always exaggerate

MEN are known for exaggerating the size of ‘the one that got away’, but that’s just the tip of their iceberg of lies. Watch out for these...

Six things today's young people should suffer because you did

DO you feel young people should experience some of the shite you did in the 70s and 80s? Obviously yes. You’re not bitter, it’s just in the interests of fairness.

Britain’s oldest dogging site receives blue plaque

A CAR PARK just outside Hull has received a blue plaque from English Heritage for being the country’s oldest dogging site.