Online petition doing the rounds as if it'll make any f**king difference

AN online petition is being shared amongst social media users in a desperate plea for signatures as if it will lead to any f**king change whatsoever.

London's twat population finally stabilised

LONDON’S population of twats has finally stabilised after years of unprecedented skyrocketing, it has been confirmed.

Left-handed people admit they're just doing it to be different

LEFT-HANDED people have finally confessed that they do it deliberately for attention.

Stealing a glass from a pub, and other shit ways to 'stick it to the man'

LIFE can make you feel powerless, so sometimes it's nice to offer up a tiny act of rebellion. Here are five incredibly lame ones…

30-year-old loses last, tenuous grasp of youth culture

AN adult man who thought he was still down with the kids has finally lost the remaining, insubstantial grasp he had on youth culture.

Employers and four other people who don't give a shit about GCSE results

TOP GCSE grades are an impressive achievement for students but deathly dull to everyone else. These people don’t care if someone got a 9 or a 1.

Teachers outside schools with big baskets of GCSEs for anyone who wants one

TEACHERS have announced they will be outside schools all day with big baskets brimming with GCSEs so come and grab as many as you want.

How to piss off a minimum-wage worker

WANT to make someone’s life a misery? These pointers will make inflicting suffering on heroes of the pandemic who can’t answer back that much easier.

Student who got B at A-level branded total failure for rest of life

AN A-LEVEL student who received a B grade in further maths will be regarded as a complete and utter failure forever.

How to afford a house: a guide for millennials

YOUNG? Worried you'll be renting forever? You're not thinking about the rich and varied possibilities for home ownership right in front of your eyes.