Why a pile of stinking manure is the perfect Christmas gift – AD FEATURE

LOOKING for a Christmas gift for that person who has it all? Pile of stinking manure salesman Martin Bishop explains why it’s this year’s hottest gift.

Does your barista fancy you? No, but take our quiz anyway

YOUR barista is not making a pass at you, sorry. But kid yourself they are by taking this quiz.

The man's manly guide to celebrating International Men's Day like a real man

THE day that men talk about on International Women’s Day is finally here. Here’s how to celebrate it like a man.

How to explain to your kids what school was like before mobile phones

YOUR kids won’t believe you when you claim not to have had a phone at school. Here’s how to explain the strange and alien educational world you once inhabited.

Social media and other things we were f**king lucky didn't exist in the 80s

SOCIAL media has been blamed for strange behavioural tics in teenagers. Here’s why you were fortunate to avoid today’s social advances while growing up in the 80s.

North to be given pie instead

THE North has seen all plans for upgrades for rail travel scrapped but is instead to be given a lovely hot meat pie. 

What a wheelbarrow full of tenners will buy you this time next year

WORRIED about inflation? Let economic expert Martin Bishop explain what thousands and thousands of pounds will buy you in 2022.

Why you're not paying enough rent, by your twat of a landlord

AS your landlord I have a duty of care to my bank account, and that’s why you’re spending over half your income to live in my tiny, shit flat. Here’s why it’s going up.

Someone sitting in your reserved train seat, and other excellent reasons to start a fight

STARTING a punch-up is usually a bad idea caused by drink and an unresolved relationship with your father. But these slights cannot be ignored.

Your dad's completely useless advice for leaving home

SCARED of leaving home? Don't worry. Your dad has plenty of advice to make flying the nest even worse.