Why straight white men are actually great, by a straight white man

SICK of people making reasonable criticisms of straight white men? Here Caucasian heterosexual Julian Cook explains why they’re actually the bee’s knees.

Six things women will always be better at than men

THERE'S no escaping it - women are just better at some things. Here are six prime examples of activities men cannot even begin to compete at.

Why new low-deposit mortgages will make bugger all difference to your entitled generation, by your parents

NEW 95 per cent mortgages are on the market, not that it will make any difference to entitled, hypersensitive millennials. Why? Let mum and dad explain.

World pleasantly surprised as man filmed committing entire murder found guilty of it

THE world has been pleasantly surprised that an American policeman who was filmed committing a murder, from start to finish, was actually found guilty of it.

Five subtle clues that it's time to move out of your parents house

MUM and dad have said that there will always be a place for you in their home, which they didn’t mean altogether positively. Here are the signs they want you to piss off.

Shopping in Asda: Five terrible things that may happen if you don't get your child a private tutor

DO you think attending school Monday to Friday is enough education for your child? This is sleepwalking into disaster. Here are five dire consequences of not getting them extra tutoring.

Getting bird shit on you, and other bollocks lucky omens

WHILE everybody would like to think they have luck on their side, there are some absolutely ludicrous superstitions out there that need to be questioned. Here are a few of them.

Kicking a football back, and five other challenges to your masculinity

BEING a bloke comes with a hideous array of unreasonable expectations. Consider yourself a failure as a man if you fall foul of any of the following:

How to blame a teacher for your child being a horrible little shit

HAVE you inadvertently brought your child up to be a total nightmare? Here’s how to absolve yourself from blame by saying it’s all the fault of their teacher.

Do spelling and grammar matter? A debate by two twats

SOME UK universities have relaxed their standards on spelling and grammar. Here pompous old git Norman Steele debates the issue with young, trendy wanker Josh Hudson.