Society

THE Met Office has issued desperate, tearful pleading with your car warnings for huge swathes of the country.

A STARBUCKS staff member who always writes a terrible misspelling of your forename on your cup does so because the consensus of the staff is that you are an arsehole.

BEING condescended to and looked down upon by estate agents is still insufficiently demeaning to stop people buying houses, it has emerged.

A MAN was delighted to catch a glimpse of his own home on TV during a news item about a killing just metres from his front door. 

2025 has defied expectations by descending into a grim hellscape within a single day, it has emerged.

A CHILD complaining of boredom has been handed the ultimate slapdown with a suggestion he play with his new toys though it is the last thing he wants to do.

THE time of year when the media fills space with round-up of whimsical news stories of the year has come around. But are they actually deeply disturbing conspiracies?

CHRISTMAS songs, all snowfall and merriment, are as realistic as a snowy village where children carol and adults carry armfuls of gaily-wrapped boxes. This is what it’s really like.

A WOMAN is sending Christmas cards with caring, personal handwritten messages to everyone except the worthless shitstains who did not send her cards in 2023.