Relive your A-levels: A fun interactive game

DO you miss the stress of taking exams to determine your future? See how you fare in our interactive game.

Irrefutable confirmation that it's shit being English received

ENGLAND has received irrefutable and final confirmation that everything they do as a team and nation only proves how shit they are.

How to exercise your right to be a selfish dick in public places

LOCKDOWN has been tough on selfish dicks, but that’s about to change. Here Norman Steele explains how he will be enjoying his new freedoms.  

'I haven't got a clue which one your kid is', and other problems with parents' evenings

PARENTS’ evenings are a unique opportunity for teachers to bluff and parents to pretend they’re listening. Here’s why all parties involved should stop bothering.

The phrases new neighbours say that strike terror into your heart

THE new neighbours have just moved in, and within minutes they’ve dropped one of these red flags into conversation.

Seven occasions when a George Cross is better than money, by an NHS worker

SURE, money is great, but midwife Eleanor Shaw and other NHS staff awarded the George Cross agree that it’s nothing compared to a notional medal.

Five sickeningly high-achieving children

FEEL shit about how little you've achieved in your life? These exceptional children will make it even worse.

Parking outside your house, and other God-given rights people think they have

DO you think the bit of road outside your house is your private property rather than a public highway? You’re probably a twat about these other things too.

Grammatical rules only pedantic twats care about

PUTTING an apostrophe in the right place is important, but some grammatical rules are too obscure to care about. Here are five that only hair-splitting twats call you out on.

Bagpuss and other childhood treasures your kids think are shite

STRANGELY, today’s children are sometimes indifferent to the magical treasures we loved as kids. Here, 12-year-old Josh Hudson gives his verdict.