Society

Unbearable couple f**k up house and garden with massive extension

AN awful couple have built an enormous rear extension which has ruined their home and rendered their garden obsolete, it has emerged.

Six things you end up doing at a sensible, mature stag do

STAG dos are no longer the preserve of louts on the piss. Classy, refined grown-ups enjoy them too, and these horribly sophisticated things will happen.

Six anecdotes you really wish you hadn't started telling

EVERYONE has funny little tales to tell, and everyone gets halfway through it before realising their audience is bored shitless but they can't stop now.

London man called 'my darling' in shops convinced every woman in North wants to f**k him

A LONDON man who made a rare venture up North has come away believing that every female shop assistant, ticket inspector and receptionist wants to sleep with him.

There were no speed cameras and every kid had a knife: A Boomer explains how safe it was in their day

THIS country is a dangerous cesspit nowadays. You can barely walk down the street without something terrible happening. Not like it was in my youth, when Britain was a safer and better place.

Shitholes a bit beyond your budget, explains letting agent

A LETTING agent is advising prospective tenants who do not want to live in a shithole to manage their expectations.

Five distinctly British sexualities that will exist in a year's time

SEXUALITY is a mysterious thing, but society is learning more about it all the time. Here are five uniquely British sexualities that will be identified within 12 months.

'I know, yeah': Six platitudes for when someone shares an opinion you completely disagree with

WE Brits are such a spirited nation that when someone says something objectionable, we keep quiet and bitch about it later. Here are some great cowardly phrases to use. 

Landlord ups rent because why not

A LANDLORD has decided to slap an extra £200 on his tenants’ monthly rent because, at the end of the day, who is going to stop him?

Seven ways to walk past a homeless person without being consumed by middle-class guilt

BEING homeless is incredibly hard - but so is walking past them outside Waitrose. Here’s how to put your class-related guilt to one side and glide past painlessly.