Society

AN otherwise sane man has decided that every breaking news story is just a distraction from another story.

THE police routinely talk up their drug busts and the media never question the boys in blue. But do you suspect they may over-dramatising events? Here’s the reality.

THE mysterious Scottish crown jewels presented to King Charles yesterday are in fact a tartan hat with a bottle of super-strength tonic wine and some biscuits inside.

IF you do not want to learn about the non-ending of your mum’s rambling anecdote, look away now.

A COUPLE kissing outside a Sainsbury’s Local are really putting the work in, passers-by have agreed.

ENGLAND loves to include all the nations of the UK in its narrative of patriotic success, but dare piss off the Home Counties and you’ll be instantly disowned.

IS a pregnant friend insisting on showing you their ultrasound scan? Here’s what you should definitely avoid saying.

AS Thames Water approaches collapse, hipster Londoners are paying £220 for reclaimed yew dowsing rods to find and tap wells.

IS it possible to have a wee in a gender neutral toilet without suddenly turning into a lady or getting accused of being a pervert? Surprisingly, yes. Here’s how.

WHENEVER your friend tells you he was shitfaced after drinking eight pints last night, you automatically halve it because he’s a liar. Here’s some more quick maths to get to the truth.