A MEDIOCRE-LOOKING man has qualified as attractive in the context of a bus, it has emerged.
Tom Logan, who would otherwise be ranked as a six out of ten on a good day in the real world, has been classified as sexually attractive when compared to the hordes of hideous undesirables commonly found riding a bus.
Fellow passenger Emma Bradford said: “Elsewhere I wouldn’t look twice at Tom’s unremarkable face. But here, among this gaggle of exhausted commuters and pensioners, he’s an Adonis.
“Perhaps it’s the exhaust fumes talking, but I reckon I could actually look at Tom naked without being sick. If I had to make out with any of my fellow passengers, it would definitely be him by default.
“His underbite is barely noticeable from where I’m sitting. And his receding hairline almost looks distinguished against a backdrop of worn out seats and cracked windows. Of course those flaws will become immediately apparent the second I get off at my stop.
“I’m guessing he’s only blessing us with his presence because this is his rail replacement service. That’s the only possible explanation for someone of his middling calibre slumming it with us uggos.”
Logan said: “That man with relatively straight teeth better not flag us down or I’m f**ked.”
