THE Civil Service has announced that internships will only be open to people from working-class backgrounds. Find out if you’re salt of the earth enough to qualify with this quiz.
Did you eat all your family meals in front of the telly?
A) Of course, while watching ITV too. Where else would we graze on our spam?
B) Heavens, no. Always in the dining room while repressing our emotions.
What sort of jobs did your parents’ friends have?
A) Unemployed, miner, unemployed miner.
B) Opera singer, opera critic, Head of the Royal Opera House.
Are you familiar with Farmfoods?
A) It was our standard supermarket. We weren’t those upmarket Aldi or Lidl types.
B) You mean food that’s grown on a farm? Organic food? We’re always droning on about it.
When you hear the word ‘estate’ what do you think?
A) Where me and most of the people I know live. And died.
B) The car my dad drove. Or the quaint acres of land my mum inherited.
What’s your stance on tracksuits?
A) They’re comfortable, stylish, and make up 90 per cent of my wardrobe.
B) Only acceptable if you’re a professional athlete or attending a Little Britain-themed Fresher’s week event.
ANSWERS
Mostly As: Congratulations and welcome to your internship. The person training you went to Oxbridge and will try their best to understand what you’re saying through your thick regional accent.
Mostly Bs: Commiserations, you’re far too sophisticated to qualify for a cushy civil service position. Don’t be sad though. The rest of the job market is gagging for posh twats like you, and if you can’t get into PwC your dad can flex his connections.
