HANNAH Tomlinson, aged 36, has a Daddy fetish. 50-year-old Martin Bishop has two adult daughters and a practical car. Is he what she’s looking for?
Hannah on Martin
First impression?
Tall, strong, dominant, salt and pepper hair, a mild paunch. Sir, my nipples are erect.
How was conversation?
Awkward. I teasingly asked if he’d spank me for spilling the wine and he replied of course not, as that’s a violence-against-women issue.
Favourite thing about Martin?
His comforting, arousing smell of cardigans and Old Spice.
Memorable moments?
When he sternly said ‘you really shouldn’t joke about the naughty step in a restaurant’ and I agreed because his disappointment hit harder than any punishment ever could.
A capsule description?
A silver fox headmaster type who’s seen some things. Or, rather, who will.
Was there a spark?
It dampened a bit when I asked him about ‘disciplining naughty girls’ and he launched into a discussion of the time-outs he gave his daughters on a camping trip to Swansea in 2010. They’d been squabbling in the car. He still feels guilty about it.
What happened afterwards?
He put me in a taxi and reminded me to drink water before bed. Now that’s what I call aftercare.
What would you change about the evening?
I wish he hadn’t shown me that picture of him taking his eldest up the aisle when I asked if he enjoys being a daddy. It ruined the vibe, although he looks good in a bow tie.
Will you see each other again?
He’s offered to put me in touch with his youngest as she’s very good at doing eyebrows and he thinks we’d get on.
Martin on Hannah
First impression?
A beauty. Why is she on a date with an old codger like me?
How was conversation?
Odd. She’d said on the app that she wants a Daddy, I presume because she wants kids herself. Yet was uninterested in my questions about schools in her area and how close she is to menopause.
Favourite thing about Hannah?
Her comparative youth. I told her she makes me feel like a teenage boy, not a grown man.
Memorable moments?
She was being meek so I urged her, like I did with my own two girls, that she must always be a strong, confident woman who won’t be told what to do. It seemed to make her sad.
A capsule description?
Too shy for my tastes.
Was there a spark?
She held my hand and addressed me as ‘Daddy’. That hasn’t happened since my daughter was eight and I was dressed as Santa. I’m not ashamed to say I recounted the tale in full, with a tear in my eye.
What happened afterwards?
She asked to come back to my place, but I explained that my daughter’s staying there while her flat gets a new kitchen. Hannah threw her arms in the air in frustration. Why? She’s spent the whole night asking about how seriously I take being a daddy.
What would you change about the evening?
I told her she needs to be kinder on herself and stop referring to herself as a ‘bad girl’ all the time. That she seems to have led a virtuous life to me.
Will you see each other again?
Only if she stops asking me who her daddy is. How am I supposed to know? We’ve only just met.
