Five things you'll always love even if they're deeply problematic

THINK you've got a good moral compass? Think again. Here are five things you'll always love even though they’re certifiably dodgy.

Painting the house purple and other ways to turn your whole street against you

FEELING close to your neighbours since lockdown? Undo all of that goodwill by pissing them off using one of these methods:

Using 'are' instead of 'our', and other signs British education is f**ked

THE weird habit of writing ‘are’ instead of ‘our’ suggests many Brits are being failed by the education system. Here are some other worrying signs.

Five f**king crazy ways schools will celebrate One Britain One Nation day

WONDERING how school kids are meant to express their British pride when they can’t even tie their shoelaces? Here are five weird ways they’ll be made to celebrate this strange day.

The white person's guide to being a dick about your white privilege

A REPORT has suggested that the idea of ‘white privilege’ is holding white children back. This is probably bollocks, but why not get angry about it anyway? Here’s how.

Five things your parents follow with 'not that there's anything wrong with that'

YOUR parents aren’t as backwards or as phobic as you believe. Here are five things they’re totally cool with through gritted teeth.

English woman with Scottish parent convinced it makes her exotic

AN English woman with a single Scottish parent is under the impression that it makes her thrillingly exotic, it has emerged.

Do you rely on British history for your identity or have you got your own personality?

DO you need statues, flags and Empires to be an interesting person or can you do it all by yourself?

Six things to buy and never use

Want to make yourself feel better through mindless consumerism? Here are some items to purchase and forget.

Working long hours for shit wages doesn't make you working class

BRITONS have been informed that mere labouring for long hours in precarious jobs for minimum wage does not entitle them to call themselves ‘working class’.