Man in hotel missing underlying passive-aggressive tone of an Airbnb stay

A MAN staying in a regular hotel is longing for the underlying hostility of booking a night in an Airbnb, it has emerged.

Julian Cook has been left feeling mildly disappointed that staying in a Travelodge does not come with a complimentary barrage of confrontational instructions telling him exactly how to behave during his visit.

He said: “I got a booking confirmation email and that was it. No long messages in capital letters about not throwing drug-fuelled raves or wearing shoes in the bathroom on a Sunday. I even checked my spam folder to make sure.

“And instead of fumbling with an impenetrable lockbox, a woman behind a desk simply handed me my key with a smile. It was bizarre. I’m used to feeling like I’m a burglar and getting dirty looks from the neighbours.

“I was shocked to get into my room only to find a sign detailing fire emergency instructions and the restaurant menu. Where’s the handwritten list of tasks I have to complete before I leave? They always make for fun bedtime reading.

“Sure, this place is clean and pleasant, but I want to feel like I’m pissing someone off by renting the accommodation they’ve voluntarily put online.

Getting a star taken off your guest rating because you didn’t clean out the vegetable drawer? That’s a personal touch hotels can never provide.”

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We ask you: who should be the next victim of Starmer's purges?

KEIR Starmer has made the baffling choice to purge leftwing Labour candidates this week over something as trivial as liking a tweet. But who should be next to go?

Donna Sheridan, marketing manager: ‘Mike Amesbury, MP for Weaver Vale since 2017. I don’t know anything about him, I just don’t like his hair. Yep, that bastard’s had it too good for too long.’

Nikki Hollis, dental nurse: ‘Definitely Mark Logan, Natalie Elphicke, or any of those hilariously self-serving Tory traitors. I think the ‘optics’, to use the correct political jargon, would be too f**king hilarious.’


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Tom Logan, tree surgeon: ‘Feryal Clark. I’ve got nothing against her personally, but my bins weren’t collected last week and somebody has to pay. Frankly I feel I’m being pretty reasonable not asking for blood.’