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Not enough graduates know about Freudian subtext in Alien 3, say employers

TOO many graduates have insufficient knowledge of the psychosexual elements of the Alien films, industry leaders have warned.

Employers believe not enough students are taking media studies degrees, leaving the UK lagging dangerously behind other nations in vital areas like being able to discuss Madame Web from an anarcho-dadaist perspective.

Norman Steele, deputy chairman of Unilever, said: “Like many British companies, a lot of our business comes directly from media studies.

“Often a customer will ring up, anxious to understand the game Far Cry 6 from a contemporary feminist point of view, just because it’s really interesting.

“Too many students are being lured away from valuable subjects like Star Wars Diversity & Inclusion Studies by more ‘glamorous’ courses such as engineering and industrial Chinese.”

Media studies student Martin Bishop said: “Sure it’s a hard slog, but I know there’ll always be a job for me if I can convincingly apply queer theory to Bluey. Well a job in Starbucks, at least.

“Starbuck is also the name of a character in Battlestar Galactica played by Katee Sackhoff, who was also in The Mandalorian. Bit of media knowledge for you there. You can have that for free.”