A COUPLE who have just had underfloor heating installed are claiming they will not let it go to their heads.
James and Elizabeth Bates say they are fundamentally the same people despite now having tubes of warm water underneath their kitchen floor.
Elizabeth said: “I’m still good old Liz. I still have the same interests and principles. It’s just now I have them with warm feet.
“I popped into Lidl this afternoon as usual when I needed a few bits. I still made small talk with the guy on the checkout, even though the gormless expression on his face told me he is probably too poor and uneducated to have underfloor heating.”
James said: “I’m not ‘better’ than people who have to wear slippers, although one does have to question why they don’t have underfloor heating. Do they have a drug problem? Are they illiterate? It’s a bit of a red flag.
“If we’ve done our job as parents, our children won’t even notice the change. Yes, we’ve stopped them playing at friends’ houses if the parents don’t have underfloor heating. But that’s not snobbery, that’s just because we don’t want our kids being dragged down to lowest common heating system.”
Former friend of the couple, Susan Traherne said: “I really like James and Elizabeth, so it was a real shame that I had to sever ties with them five years ago when I got underfloor heating. It’s great that I can reach out again!”
