'I haven't got a clue which one your kid is', and other problems with parents' evenings

PARENTS’ evenings are a unique opportunity for teachers to bluff and parents to pretend they’re listening. Here’s why all parties involved should stop bothering.

The phrases new neighbours say that strike terror into your heart

THE new neighbours have just moved in, and within minutes they’ve dropped one of these red flags into conversation.

Seven occasions when a George Cross is better than money, by an NHS worker

SURE, money is great, but midwife Eleanor Shaw and other NHS staff awarded the George Cross agree that it’s nothing compared to a notional medal.

Five sickeningly high-achieving children

FEEL shit about how little you've achieved in your life? These exceptional children will make it even worse.

Parking outside your house, and other God-given rights people think they have

DO you think the bit of road outside your house is your private property rather than a public highway? You’re probably a twat about these other things too.

Grammatical rules only pedantic twats care about

PUTTING an apostrophe in the right place is important, but some grammatical rules are too obscure to care about. Here are five that only hair-splitting twats call you out on.

Bagpuss and other childhood treasures your kids think are shite

STRANGELY, today’s children are sometimes indifferent to the magical treasures we loved as kids. Here, 12-year-old Josh Hudson gives his verdict.

Five things you'll always love even if they're deeply problematic

THINK you've got a good moral compass? Think again. Here are five things you'll always love even though they’re certifiably dodgy.

Painting the house purple and other ways to turn your whole street against you

FEELING close to your neighbours since lockdown? Undo all of that goodwill by pissing them off using one of these methods:

Using 'are' instead of 'our', and other signs British education is f**ked

THE weird habit of writing ‘are’ instead of ‘our’ suggests many Brits are being failed by the education system. Here are some other worrying signs.