Society

A TEENAGER whose nostalgia for the 1990s has led to her listening to Pearl Jam and stealing her dad’s plaid shirt feels it is irrelevant that she was not even alive at the time.

A GROUP called Restore Trust is trying to stop the National Trust presenting a negative, ie. true, view of Britain’s past. Here’s how they would interpret history.

A WOMAN who has not cracked a smile at any point during a text exchange has nonetheless claimed that she is ‘laughing out loud’.

BRITAIN is solemnly remembering September 8th last year, the date when all television programming abruptly and without warning stopped.

A MAN has derided the idiotically woke idea of ‘safe spaces’ from an extremely safe location in his Cotswolds home.

A MAN telling his son how escaped prisoners were not long ago regarded as folk heroes is realising how deeply strange that was.

THE UK is delighted that Birmingham is bankrupt because it means they get to clear the place out and start again.

SHOPS in the UK have added safety helmets and steel toe cap shoes to their ‘back to school’ ranges alongside lunch boxes and protractor sets.

HEY, fresh meat. Yeah I’m talking to you. About to start your first five-stretch in the learning slammer? Here’s how to get through it.

THE friends of a millennial who has only had two holidays, two city breaks and a trip to a Spanish music festival in 2023 are considering an intervention.