Things no man can keep secret

IT’S said that women make the best spies because they don’t have a compulsion to blurt out information like men do. They certainly struggle with these topics…

'Why do you never see ghosts in shell suits?' and other unanswered supernatural questions

DO you know a credulous idiot who thinks ghosts or UFOs are real? Here’s how to pick holes in their stupid beliefs for their own good.

Were you poor but ecstatically happy as a child? An interactive game for Boomers

WANT to prove to snowflake youngsters how much you suffered as a child and how much better you are for it? Play this game:

Love, happiness, and other things money actually can buy

HAVE you clocked that people who say money isn't important aren’t in a rush to give up all their cash? That’s because you can, in fact, buy anything.

The lights and other things you are now afraid to use

ENERGY prices have made even the most basic of appliances eye-wateringly expensive. Here are five things you are now afraid to use.

Everyone curious why woman with huge boobs not overjoyed about it

THE friends and partner of a woman with 38F breasts are perplexed as to why she seems less than thrilled about her generous blessings.

What weird countryside tradition will twats near you be doing this year?

BRITONS love traditional activities like torching a policeman in a giant wicker man. Which barmy activities will your local folk be doing this year?

Five energy-saving measures that will make f**k all difference to your bill

WORRIED about the price of your energy bill? Here are five steps you can take that will barely make a difference.

Government launches 'Get pissed to keep warm' initiative

THE government is tackling the £700-a-year rise in energy costs with its new ‘Get pissed to keep warm’ plan.

How to come to the aid of a common person lost in Waitrose

WHAT should you do if you encounter a disoriented common person who’s accidentally wandered into Waitrose? Here’s how to help them while avoiding risk to yourself.