Subscribe

They'll be live-streaming it: Why Gen Z must never become train drivers

THE minimum age to become a train driver has been lowered to 18, but can lazy, vape-addicted, teenage masturbators be trusted with the responsibility? Obviously not. Here’s why.

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now

Puking in the gutter like the Queen did: How two extra drinking hours will honour our VE Day heroes

KEIR Starmer is allowing pubs to stay open two hours later tonight to celebrate VE Day. Here’s how to show your respect for those who experienced the war by drinking more.

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now
Next story ›