MOURNERS are rightly ripping into the music a deceased man requested for his funeral.
Stephen Malley left instructions about which songs he wanted to be played, but grief-stricken family and friends feel his shit choice of music is ruining this incredibly sad day.
Cousin Emma Bradford said: “Fix You by Coldplay was playing as we all filed into the church. I was livid. I can’t stand that song, or Yellow. It’s ruining the whole funeral vibe.
“The vicar apologetically explained that this bedwetter’s anthem was one of Stephen’s last wishes. So thanks a lot for making us listen to this trite shit, Steve. At least you can’t hear it.”
Lifelong friend Joe Turner said: “I’ve known Stephen since school and we spent our teenage years getting into good bands like Nirvana. So I’m disgusted that I’m expected to sing Let It Be, a bland pseudo-hymn from the Beatles’ worst album.
“You think you know someone, but there’s another side to them. If it’s Angels next I’m going to come back tonight and vandalise his grave.”
Stephen’s brother Paul said: “I always looked up to my big brother, but Always Look on the Bright Side of Life for the exit music? I mean, I’m sad he’s dead but what a f**king cliché.”
