Politics

The six stages of being f**ked over by Trump

ELON Musk has belatedly discovered every friendship with Trump goes the same way: he profits, you lose. These are the stages:

'What did you think Reform stood for?' Zia Yusuf asked

REFORM chairman Zia Yusuf has been asked what on earth he thought Reform represented after resigning over a proposed burqa ban.

Starmer pledges to make Britain as battle-ready as it is at 11.30pm on Friday in a kebab queue

THE prime minister has asked his country to be as up for a fight as it is every Friday evening after eight pints and a kebab, but geopolitically.

Why hawking whiskey sold by criminals is the only path to salvation for the West, by Liz Truss

THE world order trembles on the edge of collapse. Only principled politicians attending whiskey launches by convicted criminals at Scunthorpe FC can save it.

Labour nationalises Rod Stewart's railway

THE government has brought Rod Stewart’s model railway into public ownership despite the star's protests, it has emerged.

We ask you: are you ready to breed, breed, breed for Nigel Farage?

NIGEL Farage has reached the inevitable stage every cult leader does by demanding that Britain f**k for him. Will you answer the call?

'You know how cannabis isn't illegal in London in any sense that matters? Well…' says mayor

SADIQ Khan has outrageously suggested that the law in London should be updated to match ongoing realities on the ground.

Gay rumours dogging every left-wing leader 'could be because of their opponents'

RUMOURS that every left-wing national leader is secretly gay may arise from the bigoted dicks arrayed against them, research has found.