Politics

THE Conservative conference begins tomorrow, and you need retrospective planning permission for an illegal caravan park. Who are you blowing to get this done?

DO people keep arguing with you whenever you say you support Reform UK? Use it to your advantage by revealing your political allegiance in these challenging situations.

DEAR oh dear. The prime minister has exposed his contempt for Britain’s decent, hardworking snake-oil salesmen. Well, I’m not ashamed to say I’m their champion.

RACHEL Reeves has advised you to create loving memories with money while you have it because who knows what will happen in the future.

LABOUR’S annual conference is abuzz with rumours that would scandalise and horrify Britain, we imagine, we didn’t get a pass. Here they are anyway.

THE prime minister has confirmed that digital ID cards will indeed work in tandem with the age verification system which records all the filth you watch.

REFORM UK have announced plans to deport the entire population of the UK then allow them back one by one after screening interviews.