Politics

Freeports to allow sexual harassment, homophobic jokes and casual racism

BORIS Johnson has promised freeports will level up the economy and let Britons to dump all that politically correct nonsense to go back to the 70s.

Queen rocks up in comfies for scaled-back speech

HER Majesty The Queen will open Parliament today wearing joggers and a hoodie in line with Covid restrictions, it has been confirmed.

Think of it not as losing Scotland but as gaining a permanent Conservative majority, Nicola tells Boris

NICOLA Sturgeon has told Boris Johnson to think of an independence referendum not as losing Scotland but as the Tories ruling unchallenged forever.

Stabbing a fork into your thigh, and other activities more gratifying than being left-wing in Britain

ARE you broadly left-wing? Does British politics cause you indescribable pain? Here are five things more gratifying than the same miserable election results year after year.

Sadiq Khan's re-election a disaster for London, agree Doncaster, Hereford, Wrexham and Stroud

VOTERS from around the UK have agreed that Sadiq Khan should never have been re-elected as Mayor of London.

Labour Party to call it a day

THE Labour Party has announced it is to be formally wound up after losing the Hartlepool by-election. 

Believing the Earth is 6,000 years old an advantage: The DUP's advert for a new leader

THE DUP are looking for a new leader with the right blend of political acumen and batshit personal beliefs. Could you do the job? Read their recruitment ad:

Fight to the Death for Jersey: A Commando comics adventure for Brexiters

YESTERDAY the plucky little island of Jersey saw off a vast French invasion force. Read our Commando comics-style account of this epic battle written especially for Brexiters.   

Are you a Red Wall Tory?

RED Wall Tories have made their voices heard in Labour's former heartlands. Take our quiz and find out if you're one of these confusing voters.

A guide to Scotland's backwards politics, by Englishman Wayne Hayes

SCOTLAND is what they call the bit of land at the top of England, for some reason. It’s even allowed its own funny little political system. Here’s my guide to it.