Politics

ANDY Burnham’s plans to nationalise public services are an evil plot by a depraved monster, which many Britons have failed to understand. Our impartial media will help.

THE UK has confirmed it is ready to loathe freeloading pensioners bleeding us dry with their f**king triple locks the moment they are given the word.

KEMI Badenoch will stop the jobless buying cigarettes, alcohol or gambling with their benefits. What would you snatch out of their grubby hands?

IT was a perfect moment. Me and Carney watching Everton bang Wolves out of the League Cup. Except even as prime minister I couldn’t get a pint of diesel.

PRESIDENT Trump knows exactly three things about the UK and has forgotten three others. This is the full extent of his knowledge and ignorance.

ANDY Burnham meets Donald Trump for the first time today, and it is unlikely to go well. The last six prime ministers warn him what to expect.

AWARE of his precarious position within his party, Liberal Democrat leader Ed Davey has soberly ziplined onto the conference stage without applause.

ANYONE applying to be a Reform candidate will be interviewed by the police to be on the safe side.

THOSE mocking the idiotic Piddington referendum that will achieve nothing have been reminded this is a bit rich coming from Britain.