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Politics

Mandelson checks diabolical cycle to see when he'll rise again

LORD Mandelson has prepared his coffin, checked the ancient Cyclus Diabolicus, set an alarm and settled down for when he is next needed.

Boris 'Borised'

Phillipson, Thornberry, Kemi Badenoch: who will be Labour's next deputy leader?

ANGELA Rayner is gone, but who could possibly replace her? The race to be deputy prime minister begins now and these are the candidates.

Why it's perfectly legal that my genitals are registered as a shell corporation in the British Virgin Islands, by Nigel Farage

YES, the Farage Jewels are for tax purposes divested from the rest of the Farage body. Yes, they are registered offshore. Yes, ownership is opaque. Here’s why that’s fine.

Rayner 'was paid cash-in-hand'

Starmer broke the bad news with a Greggs

THE prime minister decided to break the bad news to Angela Rayner that her political career is over with a comforting steak bake.

Nadine Dorries joins Reform to get over Boris

NADINE Dorries has defected to Reform in order to move on from her feelings for Boris Johnson, she has admitted.

Angela Rayner a warning to working-classes not to get clever with money

THE deputy prime minister’s stamp duty has provided a valuable warning to the working-classes never to get clever with their money.

‘I'm wearing a Union Jack butt plug right now': your Labour MP's patriotism, based on their flags

KEIR Starmer and Yvette Cooper are boasting of how many Union Jacks they own. Obviously patriotism is directly proportional to flag ownership, so how does your Labour MP fare?

Labour's migrant clampdown, explained by a patriot who doesn't believe a word of it

LABOUR? Having a migrant clampdown? Doing one thing and saying the other mate, I should know, I voted for Boris and Brexit. Here’s what’s really happening.