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Politics

Starmer's new chief of staff: will he be able to fix a f**king pothole, asks Britain?

AS Westminster is abuzz with speculation about who will run Downing Street now, Britain asks: whoever it is, can he get me a f**king hospital appointment?

Rayner seen circling in the sky above Starmer

ANGELA Rayner has been spotted wheeling in wide circles in the sky over wherever Keir Starmer is standing.

Peter Mandelson stripped of Prince of Darkness title

PETER Mandelson will no longer be referred to as the Prince of Darkness or enjoy the benefits of the title, it has been confirmed.

Who won't be the next Labour leader because they're not even close to being ready?

THE race is on to be prime minister with all the candidates entirely unprepared and half not even willing to run. We outline the odds:

'He lied to me. Can you believe that? Peter Mandelson?'

'We know it's not really all over for Starmer, but it's fun pretending'

THE UK has admitted they are perfectly aware Starmer will survive his current scandal, but they love seeing the rising panic on his bewildered face.

Impressed public didn't think Labour had a scandal of this magnitude in them

THE British electorate is quietly impressed with the sheer traitorous evil of the Lord Mandelson scandal equalling anything done by the Tories.

I was a traitor before it was cool, by Peter Mandelson

TODAY, the antics of traitors are prime-time televisual entertainment. But as usual, I was there a good 17 years earlier.

Mandelson asked Epstein to pay £1.60 for him to park at Cleethorpes

Why I am not fighting government oppression now it's actually happening, by an American gun owner

YEAH, so I’m the guy who repeatedly stated my guns were for taking up arms against tyrannical governments? But I can’t right now because I got an orthodontist appointment.