'I have a very particular set of skills which I refuse to use in protest': Six classic movie lines adapted for striking firearms officers

FIREARMS officer for the Met police? Downed tools in protest at the threat of possible consequences? Favourite movie lines not quite fitting any more?

Devil retires

His Satanic Majesty the Lord of Lies, Ruler of the Pit of Hades and King of All Earthly Evil has announced he is stepping down as Fox chairman.

Six imaginary people who are absolutely delighted by Sunak's green U-turn

THE Conservatives’ new net zero targets are a huge hit with these people who do not exist but should:

Sunak committed to reach Tory support zero by 2030

THE prime minister’s decision to delay phasing out petrol and diesel cars is all part of a plan to utterly stamp out Tory support by 2030.

Five benefits of being stupid, by Liz Truss

THEY make turning the UK into ‘Argentina on the Channel’ sound like a bad thing when it was brilliant. Liz Truss explains why living a life of blithe ignorance is unbeatable.

Indigenous Britons deported and their homes turned into Albanian brothels: Starmer's immigration plan, via Suella Braverman

KEIR Starmer has dared put forward an immigration plan even worse than ‘All borders open, bring your murderers’. Home secretary Suella Braverman explains what he’ll do to you.

Racists stay here rather than f**king off to Spain: The ongoing costs of Brexit

WITH each passing week, Brits are waking up to the folly of leaving the EU. Here are some of the problems no one expected, especially daft Brexiters, of course.

How to be a nice sensible reasonable insufferable Labour supporter

SO-CALLED ‘sensible’ Labour supporters think any tawdry compromise or pandering to Sun readers is genius-level political strategy. Here’s how to be one of these tiresome twats.

Chinese spies were checking MPs they'd bought were working

THE so-called Chinese spies in Westminster were only checking the MPs they had purchased were operating correctly, China has explained.

The Tory voter's guide to pretending you knew exactly what you were voting for

THE Tories appear to be on a mission to wreck the UK, so what should you do if you’re one of the dolts who enthusiastically voted for them? Here’s how to pathetically bluff it out.