'Oh what, like you've never sent a hostile foreign power nudes?' says Tory MP

CONSERVATIVE MP William Wragg has told people judging him for sending nudes to a foreign agent they have undoubtedly done the same or worse themselves.

New Year's Eve, and five other times in 2024 that would be best for Sunak to call an election

COULD a cleverly chosen date for the election swing it for Rishi Sunak? It’s unlikely he’s got any other brilliant strategies, so here are some days he should keep in mind.

Scottish police to look like dicks either way

SCOTTISH police have confirmed they will look like big fascist knobs if they arrest JK Rowling and limp little willys if they do not.

We ask you: when should Rishi Sunak get his arse kicked at a general election?

THE prime minister has been accused of chickening out of calling a general election by Labour. When should he go to the country and lose?

Quick war with China to clinch election, decides government

THE government has decided to engage in a quick war with China to gain public support ahead of the election, it has emerged.

Let's forget about all those 'Vote Leave' signs in fields, eh? By a farmer

WE farmers are left with no choice but to protest at cheap, low-quality imports threatening our livelihoods. We’ve done absolutely nothing to deserve it, except that thing in 2016.

In a minute, WASPI ladies, I'm annoyed at a football kit, says Starmer

KEIR Starmer has told WASPI campaigners to bear with him because he is currently annoyed about a little flag.

Why Owen Jones is leaving Labour, by someone unfortunate enough to sit next to him on a train

YEAH, that Owen Jones? Writes for the Guardian? He’s leaving Labour, I know because I was on a table seat with him, Stockport to London. Never f**king shut up.

Obama pops into Downing Street to return Breaking Bad DVDs

FORMER US president Barack Obama swung by Number 10 yesterday to drop off the Breaking Bad DVDs he borrowed during his time in office.