Politics

Fight to the Death for Jersey: A Commando comics adventure for Brexiters

YESTERDAY the plucky little island of Jersey saw off a vast French invasion force. Read our Commando comics-style account of this epic battle written especially for Brexiters.   

Are you a Red Wall Tory?

RED Wall Tories have made their voices heard in Labour's former heartlands. Take our quiz and find out if you're one of these confusing voters.

A guide to Scotland's backwards politics, by Englishman Wayne Hayes

SCOTLAND is what they call the bit of land at the top of England, for some reason. It’s even allowed its own funny little political system. Here’s my guide to it.

Brexit going so well we're now at war with France

BREXIT is going so amazingly well that within a mere five months we are now at war with France. 

How your vote won't count today

OFF to the polling station today with a strong suspicion it won’t improve things in the slightest? Here’s why you are probably right to be cynical.

Boris Johnson's guide to Hartleypool

HARTLEYPOOL is a smashing little seaside resort, a true jewel of the north-west. Here’s an unprompted article detailing what I love so ruddy much about it.

Why I accept full responsibility for the total f**king shitshow I was handed, by Sir Keir Starmer

TOMORROW, Labour will lose a parliamentary seat they have held for 60 years. And, why f**k about, I will accept that it is all my fault.

Laurence Fox the twat London deserves, rest of Britain agrees

UK residents outside London have agreed that Laurence Fox is exactly the kind of prick that Londoners deserve to have as mayor.

Five texts you could have sent Boris Johnson since 2006

BORIS Johnson’s personal mobile phone number has been public since 2006. You’ve probably missed the chance now, but here are five texts you could have sent him.

Would you rather live in a skip or sleep with Michael Gove?

COLUMNIST Sarah Vine has defended the Downing Street flat redecoration, saying the PM should not ‘live in a skip’. However, this is someone who shares a bed Michael Gove. Which would you prefer?