Politics

Six things Boris Johnson is going to pass while you're not looking

BORIS Johnson passed his Brexit bill when nobody was paying any attention. What else will he try and slip past?

This lowers the standard for impeachment, say Republicans who did it over a blowjob

REPUBLICANS have argued that Trump’s impeachment has lowered the standard for impeachment from its previous high point of an Oval Office chewy. 

Lib Dems to become knitting club for a few years

THE Lib Dems have decided to take a break from politics and try something different, starting with becoming a knitting club.

Brexit Party now just a weird retired couple and a golliwog

THE Brexit Party’s dismal election results have reduced it to a retired couple from Cornwall and their golliwog, ‘Mr Golly’.

How to survive five more years of Michael f**king Gove

THE Tory victory means we’ll be seeing more of Britain’s most irritating twat, Michael Gove. Here’s how to get through the difficult years ahead.

Five desperate ways Farage can draw attention to himself again

NIGEL Farage is a bit irrelevant now. So how can he slither back into the limelight again?

F**k work, says Britain

THE UK has declared a spontaneous national day off following last night’s electoral trauma.

Last three-and-a-half years a total waste of time

THE UK has realised it could have had this exact same result in August 2016 and the last three-and-a-half years have been totally pointless. 

Britain kicks itself in b*llocks again

THE UK has once again decided to kick itself in the metaphorical b*llocks by electing a Conservative government. 

What sort of idiot voting against your own interests are you?

ARE you planning to vote for an election candidate whose stated policy is to screw you over? Check to see if you’re one of the following idiots.