MPs once again excitedly clapping for someone they won't help

MPs have recaptured their 2020 lockdown high of frenziedly applauding someone they will offer no material aid to.

Lord Lebedev of Siberia a proper English gent, Johnson explains

THE prime minister has explained that Lord Lebedev of Siberia is a true English gentleman who enjoys nothing more than a game of cricket on the Nenetsky tundra.

They might be vampires: Why we must keep out Ukrainian refugees, by a bigot

WE should be doing all we can to help Ukrainians fleeing the war, right? Wrong. Roy Hobbs explains why letting them into the UK is a risk we can’t take.

The tough no-nonsense timetable Britain is imposing on oligarchs

WHILE Germany and Italy impound yachts, legislation in the Commons today gives foreign miscreants a punishing timetable to follow.

'Arise, Sir Twat': Your guide to Gavin Williamson's knighthood

BRITONS are genuinely shocked by useless former minister Gavin Williamson getting a knighthood. Here we answer your understandable questions about this baffling event.

The bastards make us pay our own moat-cleaning bills now: An MP defends his pay rise

AN MP has defended his £2200 pay rise by reminding his constituents he can no longer claim for any old shit he fancies on expenses.

I'm back, and you've never met Matt Hancock the Lover before

FORGET everything you knew about the old Matt Hancock. I’m back and I’m more nauseatingly in love than ever before.

Why this whole Ukraine invasion thing is a scam to claim asylum, by Priti Patel

RUSSIA invading Ukraine? Millions of refugees? In desperate need of urgent help? And you’ve fallen for that, have you?

Farage and Corbyn wake up in bed together

NIGEL Farage and Jeremy Corbyn have woken up in bed together after realising they were not so different all along. 

How are you celebrating Extricating Boris From The Shit Day?

AFTER months stuck at home watching Boris Johnson’s popularity plummet, we’re finally free to celebrate the blatant distraction which is ‘Freedom Day’. So what are you doing?