Politics

THE Conservative party is in mutiny at the prospect of action being taken against one of the chronic, long-term problems the country faces.

AN excited fan of British politics cannot wait for the season to officially kick off next week.

BORIS Johnson is breaking his manifesto promise not to raise taxes to prove his commitment to breaking promises, he has confirmed.

DOMINIC Raab is ready to face praise from MPs today on how incredibly well Britain’s withdrawal from Afghanistan went.

DID you vote remain in 2016? Then now’s the time to be tragically smug about your prophecies of doom coming true.

IT’S 3am, I’m off my face in an Aberdeen nightclub and I’m the chancellor of the Duchy of f**king Lancaster.

THE latest great news about the post-Brexit sunlit uplands is that websites won’t ask for cookies anymore. What others are there? 

BACK in 2001, I started a lovely little war, all about feminism and religious freedom and democracy. But Joe Biden’s ruined it and he should be ashamed of himself and I shouldn’t.

BREXIT now involves so much blind faith, devotion and wilful ignorance of earthly consequences that it qualifies as an actual religion, adherents have confirmed.

SHOULD I have made one quick phone call which might have helped translators evacuate Afghanistan? We’ll never know. But let me explain why I was too snowed under to do it.