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Politics

It's time to start hating the Greens now: A handy guide

COUNCIL elections are back on and the Greens are polling where they shouldn’t be in Gorton and Denton. So our helpful media have provided reasons not to vote for them.

Maybe I should stop saying shit before it's checked out legally, says lawyer

We ask you: What do you think Starmer's next scandal will be?

THE prime minister is limping from scandal to outrage to scandal, which has nothing to do with the right-wing media wanting him out. What will his next one be?

What a lovely risk-free adventure in lawbreaking that was, say Palestine Action supporters

'I don’t know sex offenders. I just know a lot of people who know sex offenders'

Tottenham, Britain ungovernable

TOTTENHAM Hotspur and the United Kingdom are both entirely ungovernable and doing so only ruins the reputation of anyone who tries.

Nobody sure how to tell Wes Streeting he's not popular

FRIENDS of Wes Streeting have realised he holds the belief he is universally popular and are debating how to disabuse him of this.

Keir Starmer: is he going to resign, go for drinks with Liz Truss, get hammered and end up getting off with her?

THE chance that the prime minister will end up in bed with the last-but-one prime minister after a night of drunken commiseration grows by the hour.

See, now when we lose the election it's not my fault, says Sarwar

Starmer's new chief of staff: will he be able to fix a f**king pothole, asks Britain?

AS Westminster is abuzz with speculation about who will run Downing Street now, Britain asks: whoever it is, can he get me a f**king hospital appointment?