Work

Pick a scapegoat: Six actually effective team-building exercises

GETTING a group of co-workers to mesh can be a challenge, but you don’t need to waste money on wanky team-building events. Simply appeal to their basest instincts, like this...

Office worker can't remember how to pretend to be productive

AN office worker is struggling to remember how to look busy while accomplishing nothing after four days of total leisure.

'Restrategisation', 'reprioritisation' and other corporate phrases for 'half of you are getting sacked'

‘YOU’RE fired’ is so harsh and Trumpian. A caring workplace focused on your wellbeing will use these euphemisms to soften the blow.

Woman unsure if new job role is promotion or f**king insult

A WOMAN given a new role and job title is unsure whether she is being recognised for her outstanding work or treated like a prize twat.

UK airlines' customer service staff take long overdue rest day

THE customer contact teams at all Heathrow-based airlines have been given a surprise Friday off to spend at their leisure.

Decision of whether you're disabled or not to be outsourced to blokes in a pub

TOUGH decisions about who is deserving of disability benefits and who is not are to be outsourced to solid, dependable daytime drinkers.

One in four young people too cool to be, like, a wage slave

A QUARTER of young people are not even bothered about working and are probably going to I dunno, hang out in a forest and shit working on their art, they have claimed.

We're not mentioning salary because we know you're above that, says job advert

EMPLOYERS advertising for new staff have confirmed they do not post salaries because prospective employees are beyond such petty considerations.

Self-employed, independent consultant and other LinkedIn terms for unemployed

NOBODY on LinkedIn can stop congratulating each other long enough to admit they’re drawing dole. Use these phrases to cover up being between ‘great career opportunities’.

Six signs your WhatsApp group will shortly get you fired

AS Labour MP Andrew Gwynne discovered, every WhatsApp group is a ticking time bomb of kompromat. Here’s how yours will lead to your eventual dismissal.