Work

Slow, incompetent bartender looking forward to his first shift this evening

A TRAINEE bartender who asks questions like ‘sorry, what’s a Guinness?’ cannot wait to serve thirsty patrons during his shift covering this evening’s England’s match.

Scottish co-worker obviously still drunk

THE Scottish man two desks across is very clearly still inebriated which nobody has yet had the courage to mention.

'That's summer over then' proclaims twat who's probably right

AN office arsehole has greeted the end of the May heatwave by saying ‘Hope you enjoyed summer,’ and the worst of it is that he may well be correct.

Five weekend plans you shouldn't share with your colleagues

IT’S only a matter of hours until office chat turns to what people are doing at the weekend. But probably keep these plans to yourself.

All homeworkers naked

ALL homeworkers are completing their allotted tasks and attending meetings entirely naked, they have confirmed.

'It's probably AI,' says man who doesn’t understand what AI is

YOUR middle-aged co-worker who confidently opines on any subject he does not understand has begun stating everything is ‘probably AI’.

Man hates the snivelling maggot he becomes in covering letters

THE grovelling sentences a man comes out with when writing a covering letter disgust him to his core, it has emerged.

32-year-old has crush

A 32-YEAR-OLD man has been forced to confront the fact that, as well as a mortgage and back pain triggered by sleeping the wrong way, he also has a crush.

All your colleagues hate you, and other subtle signs it's time to leave your job

WONDERING if you're outstaying your welcome in your job? Look out for these telltale signs.

Builders annoyed it's another bloody homeworker

A TEAM of builders contracted to construct a home extension are disappointed to learn it is yet another bloody homeworker.