Work

TO stand out in the job market, why not impress on employers that you’re a first-class prick with your job title alone? Any of these should do it.

OFFICE jobs look complicated from the outside, but all they really involve is sending these five emails again and again and again forever.

WALKING to the office printer to make some copies is as fun and relaxing as a fortnight in the Lake District, it has been confirmed.

WORKPLACE safety assessments are finding that the main occupational hazard facing Britons is being around twats all day.

AN emergency plumber with an exorbitant call out fee and a string of desperate clients is feeling more powerful than Zeus, he has confirmed.

THE only honest profile on LinkedIn has shared that he hates his job, boss and life and could not give a free-form f**k about his employer’s strategic vision.

HOPING to finish work bang on time for once? No chance. One of these twists of fate is about to royally screw you over.

A MAN who went on LinkedIn for five minutes is consumed with self-loathing after hitting ‘like’ on several posts of tedious self-promotional bullshit.

READY for this tedious, pointless meeting to end, so you can get the f**k out of there? Not so fast, these six arseholes will always have something to add.